Random domain of Jun's

The pig's friendster page gave me a heart attack. His status of 'in a relationship' turned into single. His private photos which were 4 of them, were pictures of us were deleted off from his account. And there's a girl in friendster bugging him (well, making friends lar, im just sensitive but still! TABOO WEI!) and asking him if he hav a girlfriend at the moment. I dont know what he replied coz he screened off his replies... This made me really worried and scared. I lost my confidence. I was... WAS confident bout him not being a player and being loyal. After what i saw... i lost my confidence. He once told me that he wanted time and he wont treat me like what Chris did. I told him that i was scared that i will end up like what i did with chris. Coz this is exactly the situation that me and chris had. He told me that i can believe him and he is not chris. He will not treat me like what chris did. He said that he is different. I believed him. Now... i dont know what to do. I should be having confidence in him but i cant find a reason to at the moment. After i saw the friendster thingy... he was online and i straight away asked him if he still loves me. He say he THINKS he still love me. That gave me half relief and half dissapointment. He is still unsure. What am i to him. Wait... what am i to myself anyway?

During this holiday, he sms-ed me before and said bout how sad it is for not having the chance to be with me for the valentine's. It changed... his tone, his smses... all of them changed. I should be staying strong at this point but this is kinda a blow too heavy. I've been drowning myself with songs that are supposed to be soul healers like Suneohair's Sora Mo Isogashii... but i didnt work like they were supposed to =__=;; I hope the holidays ends fast.. or not... i really dont want to hear him say no. But if its the fact that i had to accept... i dont know what i'll do next... but no worries, i dun do no stupid stuff no more. But at least... i really hope that i could see him or hear something thats shows a good sign from him during Valentine's.
Coz im very sure now that i still love him and i love him. HEY I MISS HIM! After Bimjie, Prince Lui and Joshi gave me a lecture, i felt kind of better and they made me realize what i really want and guided me through. Kilmasis gave me confidence to go through the day. Thank you all... love you guys so much.

Even winnning Rm400 didnt actualy cheered me up coz... i know inside me, i still need Danny. I hope that he still loves me.

Dear cupid...
im in need of your blessings,
im in need of your arrows,
im in need of you,
im in need of him,
im in need of being loved.
Please bless all my friends with your miracle and blessings for this valentine's.
Please bless him, bless my fiance.
Thank you for bringing back my friendship with kaede.
I hope that you could guide him back to me too.

God bless all.
Happy Valentines

Let the songs load. Its really nice ^^ its helping me get through what im on right now. Listen to them. If you want them, tell me on my msn. I'll send them to you ^^

First song: Suneohair - Sora Mo Isogashii
Second Song: Radwimps - Order Made