Random domain of Jun's

So much hatred in my house and in myself lately. I feel like i cant breath no more. I feel so sick and tired of everything bout myself and it makes me puke. I cried few nights ago but this time i cried on my younger sis. She wasnt supposed to know how stress and pressured am I trying to handle every single politic is going on in my house. Yeah, family problems that are common are dad fighting with mom and parents versus children and stuff. My family is not the common fighting family. It fights with politics. Money, yeah the most common topic to argue about. Most of the time, when parents are in a tight spot, they tend to argue bout stuff. Not my family. They try their best to bring fortune to themselves by acting all selfish regardless how choked up her daughter feels. Im having money problems myself too. Hell, i spent on my costume and now im trying to ask someone to lend me Rm300 to pay for the costume. No worries coz i can pay back in 3 months time. Coz the tailor cant wait. I can only get RM400 pocket money per month. I have two months time to pay. Every month i have to use Rm90 from my Rm400 pocket money to buy a monthly pass for transportation which the LRT Star and the LRT Putra. So, there goes Rm310 for me to use. Other than that, i have to use the RM310 for bus fares from the LRT station (wangsa maju) to TARC. Lets say i use RM50 for the whole month for bus fares. I use at least RM10 per day at college for lunch & dinner if necessary. So RM310-Rm50-Rm200 is? I got only RM60 to spare. RM60 for Jackee's remaining Wig fare since i am paying for the wig through monthly installments. RM120 = two months. I need RM50 for the Gloves for my costume orz... Still, i have to save it till next month. I have RM60 to spare for November and Rm160 is only like.. RM210 short for my costume ARGH! Im so dead.

I tried to strike a deal with my mom for some extra cash. For my results if i get a distinction, ONE distinction is RM50 fer me XD So i took 6 subjects. If i could get straight distinctions then its RM300 fer me! YAY! hahahAHhaHAH Like in my dreams lol. My mom instead of giving me encouragement, she gave me discouragement instead. 'PR is supposed to be an easy course for you and you are trying to get money from me from your easy results?'. In Short, means 'NO'. She added another blow "I expect more better results from you coz you have to be better than your elder sister since she is already a failure. She did not do well in her studies and she is a failure. I cant count on that daughter anymore. I want you to be better, you must be good in your studies. Please study harder. One failure is enough. I dont want any another failure anymore.' Im already stressed out so please let me BREATH! I couldnt breath at all. Its like, my life is made to please her. Im not a robot! Someone please realize that. I have feelings too. I dont want to do a simple thing and i have to sit down and think of that single simple little thing bout what if i do this and whats the cause. What will happen if i do this? I want to be free!

Not only that, when i was around 15, she let me go out with friends namely; Kilmasis till late at night. Maximum till 3 in the morning. She nagged at first and set my curfew to 1am. Now its ridiculous IM FRIGGING 18 THIS YEAR! My curfew is 11!??? WHAT!? No offence to others but to me its just plain ridiculous! You let me go out til late at night even pass the bewitching hours when i was an underage! Now that im 18 IM ALL LOCKED UP!? im at the stake of suiciding again. I dont know why but im really feeling the suicidal me is coming back to get me.

I went PVC hunting with Blood Angel/Assasin whatever =___= Daniel lar! He went to change his PVC but the owner said that he still hadnt get the stock yet. The tailor asked me to get some white PVC for the detailing on my Kula's Costume so i bought one metre of white semi-shiny PVC for the detailing. No i dont have the picture of it coz i left it at Daniel's place. After that im in serious deep shit coz i dun have any money left T__T after spending on the PVC and now im totally burnt broke and i have to pay RM270 for the tailoring and i still havent bought my gloves for Kula yet. Its gonna cost me RM50 ARGH~! I tried to borrow some money from my elder sis and she said what? NO! What the fuck?! Its not like im not gonna return it to you.

Someone dear enough to lend me RM300 for keep sake and i'll return it to you in three months' time T___T sorry LOL

After goin to the PVC shop i went to Daniel's place to hang just to kill time. I hung till 7 i think and came with an evil thought. Coz im too lazy to go take the bus home and wanted to call kill and say (with a sympathetic tone) 'Kill T__T help. Im lost in Sunway. I dunno my way home. Please pick me up' LOL. But i didnt call lar~ So i went to take the Metro bus to Kota Raya and take the LRT from there. Thx Daniel and Snakey for the info. So when i got up the bus, SMALL KIDS ARE TRYING TO HIT ON ME LOL! I mean small teenage kids. Maximum, i think they are only Form2, MAX! i was wearing cargo pants and a transformers T-shirt and tied my hair, which i look like a tomboy. So i sat at the front and they sat at the back. They kept calling me and of course i ignored them. Suddenly one boy and one lesbian/tomboy got up and sat next to me and behind me. Asking for my phone number. The boy asked for my number and i asked him. 'Are you a secondary school kid?'. He said Yeah, of course i am. So when i said i am a college student. LOL! HIS REACTION WAS PRICELESS!!! HAHAHAHHA I asked him, do you still want my number? He is having second thoughts lol. SO, he didnt have the guts to ask no more so he asked the lesbian to ask me instead. It was so lol when i his reaction.

All in all... im Broke-dead and need money fast lol.

picture time!

Once i went to Daniel's house without him knowing with Kilmasis and went off with a message made of toilet roll:


Steamboat is love when you make it yourself and having watever you want at home :


Didnt put this up last time but im envious of kilmasis! HOW COULD YOU KEEP 7KITTENS AND A MOTHER CAT!?:


I made a yummy sandwich (lol im so random):