Random domain of Jun's

Shopping for Mom and ZANMAI

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:02:36 GMT

It was a heck of a day with my sisters. We called each other to made sure that we are actually allowed to buy presents for mom on her birthday this coming Thursday coz by right, we are not supposed to celebrate anything within the first 100 days after my grandmother's pass. So we were quite in a lost if we are allowed to buy her presents.

Today during lunch me and Shervin, Samantha, Sushi, Shyamalah, Lee May and Yvonne decided to go to Wangsa Walk Mall for Subway. Yeah, we had a sudden craving for a sub but it was worth it. I kinda spent alot today on food alone.

::: Subway Melt ;D with extra breakfast strips :::

So then we hung out and i found the perfect solution to my dilemma on not knowing what to buy for my mom, that is a perfume shop. So i walked in and browsed around and endured the arrogant sales girl. I did the right thing so the least. I showed her my bottle of Salvatore Ferragamo Incanto Dreams Lotion to show to her that yes i am a buying customer you asshole-ed bitch. Looked around and she introduced a bottle that of all she recommended was the best; Burberry Brit Sheer. I thought of buying a package but she was only selling inidividual bottles. I have no idea if they had promotion so i thought i'd look around Pavilion after class. Then Sarah showed me this phamplet of the on going christmas promotions on perfumes which so happens to include Brit Sheer at the same price of the individual bottle but it comes with two more extras; a bottle of Brit Sheer lotion and body cleanser. Well, of course im getting that like HELL. After class i went to Pavilion straight to avoid jam. As usual, i fell asleep whilst driving again. I always fall asleep while driving home on Mondays. I have no idea. Maybe i just hate mondays. Maybe that explains why i never liked the Model MONDAY at college anyway lol.

::: The package ;D OOOO I LOVE EET :::

::: Burberry Brit Sheer for my mom on her birthday this Thursday ;D :::

So after getting this, i went to look for the pig. He got sick. And yeah we are alright again. Its my fault for the argument anyway. So today we had dinner together at Sushi Zanmai where everyone including the pig has been pestering me about. I won't say the price is any cheaper than Sushi King but of course at that price, its worth every cent. I love salmon Ikura to bits. dear kept teasing me with salmon the whole night and kept feeding me with it. Our table looks like a Salmon fest. Swt... but the dinner was awesome. Thank you so much dear~ i love you so so much.

Enough of mushiness. Up with the piccas ;D Its the Low Yat branch of Sushi Zanmai.

::: the kaiten sushi belt. Very nice variety being served :::

::: Salmon Ikura ;D I LOVE YOU! Combination of my two favourites :::

::: The small Salmon Don i ordered. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH :::

:::: Sashimi X3 nice big chunks dont you think? =D dear ordered this for me :::

::: Gyoza anyone? ;D dear ordered this for himself. Yep, he loves gyoza :::

:: I CANT STAND THE TEMPTASHUNNNN!!! THE PUCHI PUCHI NESS OF THE IKURA INSIDE YOUR MOUTH IS JUST TO MOUTH WATERING! ::

after dinner, i took dear to the clinic to get himself an MC coz of his flu, cough and recent fever. Its better to be safe than sorry though. The guy thought that i was 'in need of the doctor's services' when we went in. WHAT THE HELL YOU STEREOTYPES. Go put your termo in someone's ass.

So i made sure dear took his medication. Yeah, he is a stubborn one. So after he took his medication, he just slept.

Thank you so much dear for the awesome dinner :3 love ya so much

I hate it when it happens

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:02:57 GMT

I have no idea why did i had a sudden mood swing. End up with an arguement with the pic. I rather not talk bout it but its mostly my fault anyway. I just don't have the mood to talk to him at the moment. I need a time out. I need a break from everything. My head is too smashed up with stuff right now.

At first i was damn down right pissed coz my plans were ruined for CF coz the fengshui man said i had to be at the grave of my grandparents on the 20th which clashed with CF second day. I don't mind arriving late but it's just annoying to know that i had to hunt for a parking space and walk in my costume to the convention hall. ARGH I DONT WANT THAT NU UHHH!!! Then i just stayed silent the whole nite and my dad asked me again.

dad: You have a competition?
me: Yeah...
dad: The costume thingy?
me: uhuh
dad: The ceremony is at 8am till 10am. After that we are just having lunch together. Do you know how to get home from there?
me: uh.. yeah?
dad: From uncle's house?
me: from the graveyard yes, uncle's house no.
dad: You can park at the graveyard. After the ceremony, you can go la.
me: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D OKAYYY

OMG ARRRHHHHH I LOVE YOU DAD!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ARRRRRRHHHHHH
all i need to do is rush home and take a shower and im on my way for CF WHEEEE

ngeh... no wonder. I think that explains why my grandma came into my dream. She was telling me to be good in my dreams. In that dream, i cried so hard. She kissed me goodbye and looks really happy. All i could do was cry and hugged her. I could feel her warmth. I missed her hugs :( all i could do in my dream was kept calling ah poh!!!! and cried and i cried myself awake. She only hugged me and say be good.

I guess she saw this coming and kinda signalled me to not lose my temper and good things will happen ;D and so it did. I get to go CF XD

I miss my grandma. Though my dad said i could skip the ceremony but i decided to go anyway. I wanna pay my last respects to my grandma.

We have this ceremony coz my grandma is buried next to my grandfather. The grave was getting murky and falling apart we tore the grave down and renovated it to a better grave. According to the religion and pantang larangs. We need the fengshui lou to do it for us to decide when must it be done. So we did.

I will visit my grandmother's grave soon. I miss her :(

Hiatus

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:42:03 GMT

wow... i've been so away from my journal. Im so sorry >.<

Good news to everyone, i have a newborn Niece :D Everyone say hi!

:: O HAI WORLD! :::

Well, im happy and stressed out at the same time. CF is drawing so near im freaking out. Well, although all my stuff are ready but its still freaking me out. A year slithers away so fast.
I got myself a new desktop =D

I love my specs so much :D Intel Xeon Dual Core 3.0Ghz, 9400GT Nvidia grapgic Card.. watever it is, the whole compy is like my waifu now! Had to reinstall every software that i need to use into my computer myself and transfer all my stuff from the old one to the new one. So, i ended up multitasking with two computers. I had to borrow my cousin's lcd screen to multitask.

::: Yep.. two LCDs. Doing stuff double the time ::

no, i didnt bought any particular brand coz i customized the whole desktop myself. Coz its way more cheaper than to pay and buy from a brand store for something that has non of the specs i want. So my house end up looking like a typhoon hit living room full of boxes that came with the casing, lcd and stuff that you had to get for a CPU.

::: there were more but i stacked half of what i had :::

So around monday nite i was walking around Times Square waiting for my pig to finish work and have dinner with him. So whilst walking towards the maxis centre to clear up my phone bills, i bumped into Anna lol so apparently she had and arguement with Dante so i accompanied her around and adviced her on how to confront him and they end up okay after that and aww it was so sweet of Dante for buying a ticket to a movie for Anna as a peace offering. So we sat down at Old Town and chatted the until the pig arrvies and we had dinner at Gasoline. I regret ordering that chicken chop. It sucked like hell. Imagine your typical chilly crab sauce, served with chicken chop. THE TASTE WAS FUCKING DISGUSTING. I have no idea why did i ordered that horror. So we took some pictures and we gossiped around what's happening in the community and more about azushit and yuki.

The fun part is where the food that we ordered came along with the food that belonged to the table next to us and they gave us the wrong food. Lucky thing is the peeps sitting next table are the people that we knew.

::: Lol quite a dark pic. But Dante was trying to act cute and gedik like someone XD :::

So lately i've been around with the pig. We cant get enough of sushi. I have no idea. I fell in love with salmon roe. Out of the blue i was in love with salmon roe and i cant get enough of it. Its an expensive shit but i still love it. I miss the big salmon roes that they serve at Saisaki. They don't have it no more T_T this sucks. Well, since it was a promotion for sushi king Leisure mall. Eat more than 10 plates, i'll get free 5plates for each coupon. So had the servings of what i want like i don't care.

:: YUM~~~~~~ :::

::: IKURA LOVE!! IKURA I LOVE YOU :::

Left4dead two session with these freaks XD okay, buddies lar.. not freaks lol along with the pig:

::: the pig.. during dinner:::

:::: Kai was there lolz :::

::: Yes brian, i posted this. YOU LOOK SCARY WTHELLL!!! :::

and for the closing of this post after being afk from this blog for so long. Let's see WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!! : D

The Long Run

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:12:20 GMT

It feels like its been awhile since i've posted anything in my blog. Recently entered a cosplay competition at Times Square. Entered some random moneyKing online event and got myself some moolah haha. Not that much though. Before that i met with brian to pick up my wig from Prince Lui. Yeah man, her wig styling kicks ass. I wanted to post something on my blog but things that i really wanted to write kinda slips away.

well, its the usual at college. Same old dramafags making drama. I have no idea why that dramafag had to bring her vermin to class and takes pictures of it randomly herself hoping people will shower awe on her. Sorry, if so happens the case that was holding the vermin accidentally fell and the vermin itself ran and i stepped on it, not my fault mweh.

On the day that i picked up my wig, before that we went to hang around at Deidara's house for lunch and we went to pay our respects to Silvy's late mom. My condolences. So we went to this restaurant. I am so in love with the food they serve. Large porportions and its friggin authentic cream of mushroom soup =D If im not mistaken, the restaurant's name is Pizzeria Bella de Italia. Quite a long one lol but the food were really great and the price is EFFING nice. Rm9.90 with free drink and soup.

:::: mm~ i like~!!!!! Cream of mushroom soup. Not the ones that are canned <3 ::::

:::: The quattro deidara ordered. It was effing omfg SQUEEE ::::

::: DA's Lagsana ish... just posting this makes me hungry :::

i am so glad that Brian drove us there and thank deidara for introducing this restaurant to me. The food is heavenly. Its the first time i've had a pasta lunch that im so satisfied with.

After that we hung around at Deidara's place helping out... more like disturbing them from finishing their props lol rushed my sword there and thank you so much Deidara for helping me spray the sword and helping out alot. The pasta Deidara made was <3 too hahaha lunch and dinner were pasta hahaha. Deidara's bed is so soft and comfortable =A= its hypnotizing me to sleep on it. Its so snuggly!!!!

BMJ and KidChan dropped by out of the sudden. The randomness. Even dei was having quite a shock lol i didnt expect him to be there either lol

:::: Prince Lui and Kilmasis lol candid shot though. And no, she is not wearing a wig, She dyed her hair :::

Its was fun =D
On the other hand on my college side,
and i have no idea why they just HAD to pull me into everything they do. Pulling me in the sense of pulling me into random shits that i dont care of. Like the hell i care if they replaced me with another new person to drive for them or even make up stories bout me being an ass to them. The thing is, i don't care = = i don't know what they are doing and i dont intend to know either, To me, i just feel that maybe non-KL people are just like that. Sorry, let me put it in a non generic way. Non KL-teenagers. They are just... idiots.

Coz no matter how complicated your break up was, you having another boyfriend just a few days or a week later from your break up is just so damn drop dead obvious that you already had the hots for the other person when you were still together with your ex. It just shows that how insecyre and unstable you are. If you had the half of a brain of a matured person, you'd be able to identify the obvious. Don't give me shit bout me should be minding my own business. You announcing it at Mukabuku is already attracting troll yourself. Don't give me shit bout its complicated either and i won't understand. Seriously, while you guys are so cooped up in your homes and hometowns, i've been through shit that you guys have ever been. Don't give me shit bout college life is mature either. Its just an another round of kindergardent to me. Coz idiots just flocks together.

The bird of the same feather flock together.

Coz you are just, ish... i have better things to do than to get involved into pettyy kindergardent dramafags.

DRAMAFAGS!

To them, DRAMA is a Seriouz Bizzzneszzzz

Loong Zai aka Anson's 19th birthday

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:10:27 GMT

It
was
HELL YEAH LOL

Class started early on monday and the afternoon class was canceled and i decided to skip the bloody 4pm class to save myself from getting into a massive traffic jam to Times Square. Coz morning class started at 8am to 10am and the next class at 12-2pm was canceled and i had to wait till 4pm. That is one long assed break. I decided to skip it and find the peeps. Before that, i went to had breakfast with Chia Yee. I had the most regretful morning. I decided to lay off those gyoza for a change and ordered a small portion and ordered a plate of wan tan mee. I planned to share with chia yee but in the end i had to gulp it all down coz the wan tan mee was filling than i've expected. So had a bloody ass full stomach and went to Elianto to buy some stuffles and started getting ourselves some manicure in chia yee's room. So then whilst i was chilling, Eddie and Chee Teck called to see if i wanna have a drink with them at Genting Klang pizzahut so i agreed and i picked up Kenzie's sis from V block and all the way to genting klang. So we spent a few hours gossiping each other's classmates and talked bout gore. Best part is when we were talking bout final destination storylines and laughed about it the whole day.

After the lunch and a glass of coke with them, i headed down to Times Square myself and met with Dear. So i went to the arcades and jammed a little while and bumped into Sean aka Riku and i bumped into someone that i didn't expect to see. VHJIN swt. Of all people, i bumped into VHJin fuck the what. He's still the tall cheap bastard from before.

To those who don't know who is he, well, he's an old friend. More like old annoying good for nothing cheap bastard person that i know of. I regretted that i've even invited him to my birthday party few years back. Jin is a guy who is so cheap, he would hide his money and ask for money from you. He would sit in a cafe with you and eat and drink and in the end, he never pays and said that he has no money and shows his empty wallet to you.

So then i bumped into him and i was playing bishi bashi champ and he followed me around to wherever i was walking to Riku. So then finally when i finished playing Bishi Bashi, Dear arrived just in time and hugged me from behind which indirectly or directly sent a signal to Jin that.. PLEASE GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. Then Anson reached and they played PIU for a little while coz they bumped into a fellow Pumper. Then Jin got the picture and blah-ed from the scene. Thank goodness. So we went to Bar B Que plaza at 3rd floor coz Anson was hungry, Dear belanja-ed him lol well, its his birthday so no complaints there. I was the maid of the day. Helped them cook =3= and i didn't touch the food. Touched the Vegies and a piece of meat and that's it. Then Ivan/Yudan and Angel arrived and we messed with the teppan abit and the aftermath was gruesome lol

Picture taim ;D

::: Yudan and Angel. Angel is messing with the teppan lol :::

:: Teppan aftermath. I kesian the washers :::

After that we went to a short bowling session. I wasn't really in the mood to play bowling so i sat there and saw them played instead. Birthday boy Anson lost so... lol Dear won the whole team over. They asked me to play but i seriously didn't had the mood to play bowling that day. I had no idea why i have no mood to play. So then Hikki came over but Billy couldn't make it and Samuel went MIA lol. So then we proceeded to the snooker centre and Hikki started to get hungry and so did i. So the both of us went to Vivo. Forgot to take pictures there coz we were catching up with each other's life stories and gossipping people that we find irritated at. Lol its been awhile since we sat together just chilling and talking. Both of us are just so busy with college life.

After Vivo, we went back up to the snooker centre to look for Anson and Dear and we kinda went freaky out of the sudden since the place was going half empty and the whole section of that floor was like ours for the taking. And we went crazy like stupid.

::: bowling session with the others. Angel throwing her first bowl :::

:::: Birthday boy Anson and Angel :::

::: Camwhoring with Hikki. So long din take picture together dy arhhh =A= :::

::: Hikki's phone takes better picture in the dim lights of Times Square =3= :::

::: The randomness. I has a piggy back ride from Dear :::

::: and so did the birthday boy lol Dear complained bout his weight :::

::: Eventually they both ran out of energy to be hyper lol ::::

::: yeah, pose on the exhausted one lol :::

::: they just had to challenge each other into a tug o war :::

So after that we were really tired and eventually we were craving for cold drinks. Since its been years since we went to Gasoline for a drink, we head down and sat in Gasoline for a little while to quench our thirst and history got the better of us. we started having ice shot war. The rule is simple. Just shoot your opponent at places and on the face when they least expect it or even if they are evading you. Your ammo is your ice and your artilery is your straw. Crunch them or chew your ice into small pieces and SHOOT. Yeah, the saliva that sticks on your face, its gonnna STAY lol Hikki kept evading the attacks.

::: Hikki and Anson :::

::: I forgot what i said to him but he looks pinchable :::

so after that we had to head home early since im dead tired already and Anson has a second round of celebration with his friends on the karaoke soon. Yudan and Angel are gonna head home themselves so i fetched Hikki and Dear home. Before heading home, they just HAD to catch some gay time together lol

::: Anson was trying to grab Dear's balls in this picture. Blurry coz i couldnt stop laughing haha :::

THANK YOU SO MUCH GUKI for pinjam-ing me the Sony cable coz IT ISH USABLE! After fetching Hikki home, i fetched Dear home and hung around for a little while and tried the cable and it works. Finally T_T dear's PC is looking good. I get to have the PSP for a little while lol its been so long since i had the psp =3=

Its been so long since i laughed like a maniac kena triggered by her funny bone. Its was a great day =D these friends are way better than Weaboos and dramafags back in College.

PS: Anson is a 100% guy, male, BOY.

Shogun Outing

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 09:15:16 GMT

Yeahh.. i have a sudden urge for a shogun outing just to make it for the shogun promotion haha
was quite late when i got there but beatbox and the others are late as heck than me wei.

Anyway, had fun with the food and end up with constipation =/
blame me for not touching the salad bar hahaha
shogun that day wasnt really as fresh as i was expecting. Ah well, its promotional, no arguements there. Im planning for a second Buffet raid outing next at Yaki Yaki Japanese BBQ buffet.

If its gonna be a BBQ buffet, i was thinking what do you guys think of Yaki Yaki or we shall all go to Daidomon for charcoal bbq.

Im so loving food now.

Anyways, pictures are grabbed from Edlin/Beatbox's pictures. Pictures are taken using a PSP

::: This pic snapped by beat of me is just WRONG FTW :::

:::: Yeah, group pic cramping into one screen :::

::: Sepet mata siotttt ::::

::: Ghey ness of everyone lol :::

::: The original live action. BATHING APE lol :::

::: Boobs and dicks. We shall touch :::

::: Ugh, din realize that the picture was blur.. ah well... :::

PLEASE TO HAVE ANOTHER OUTINGZ SOON

P.s: I love the songs that i posted

My harem

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 08:37:22 GMT

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Goodbye Grandma

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:04:46 GMT

Well...

im dead tired and all i will do now is make a summary of what ive went thru ever since Deepavali.

My grandma passed away. It was a big shock and it tore us apart. I couldn't make it to her death bed but the only person who did was my elder sis. She said that she cried before she breathed her last breath. My sis told her to be brave and don't be scared and that she is there for her. She cried and then she was gone. The moment i reached the hospital, the only thing i could do was cry and console my aunts and my sisters.

My grandma, was a great woman. Though she is not the type of person that you could easily get along with, but i seriously owe her my life. Back when i was 4years old. I still have this memory with me as its haunting me for the rest of my life. My younger sis Tania was born and we visited my mom at the hospital at Pudu. Hospital Tung Shin. Everyone was busy talking and checking on my mom as she went through a surgery so i was left alone and somehow this guy outside of the ward took me to the hospital lobby and bought me a candy stick. He took me to the stairs which if it goes up, i would most probably follow coz it was birght up and he wanted to go down and it was dark down. I hesitated and cried saying that i don't want to and he ran as my Grandma yelled at him and took me back into my mom's ward. I was young and i thought maybe he was a relative or someone. Turns out that he was not a relative. He was a kidnapper. I was almost kidnapped at the age of four and my life was saved by my grandmother. I owe her my life.

now that she is gone, i could still remember the younger days i had with her as if it was yesterday. I will miss her so much. Now that i see the granny at Jusco Maluri Cheras, i felt hurt. Her lonely posture and eyes with no one that cared for her, wandering in the mall makes me feel sad coz she reminds me of my grandmother who spent her days alone in an old house with no one to care for her. I can only say that my grandmother was an amazing woman. Even at the age of 94 and at the very last moments of her life, she could still raise her voice and scold everyone haha

Grandma, i miss you.

Her funeral was simple but i came from a big family and my grandma has 8children. Grandma told my dad to take care and take charge for her funeral and she wanted flowers. My dad as the youngest son in the family, took charge and of course the elders felt their ego is at stake. Especially my Aunt that live next door. During the funeral, miracles and weird things happened that cant never be explained. Grandma said that she want flowers and lots of it in her funeral. We decorated bunch of flowers next to her coffin during the wake. We burnt incense papers and paper moneys right next to the coffin where the flowers were. Normal flowers that come in contact with smoke and heat will wither faster than you know it. But throughout the whole 2nights wake and continuous burning, the flowers did not even show a sign of withering nor turning yellow. Its still fresh as ever.

The wake was held at my eldest uncle's house. They planted these rare midnight lotus that blooms rarely. First night of the wake, the first batch of lotus bloomed and at the second night, the second batch bloomed. The third day is where we will bury our grandma, the plant dies.

The second day of the wake, according to chinese beliefs, we are not supposed to scold anyone during wakes and funerals. My aunt kept sccolding others and the wake service providers out of small matter. At the other half of the day, my aunt's voice was gone out of the sudden. Everyone said that grandma got fed up and sealed her voice haha

On the day of the burial, we serve roast pork to the guests that come for the funeral at the cemetery. Suddenly a dog from uphill came down to beg for food. Of course we will give some to the dog. THe weird thing is, the dog gave us a big leaf in exchange for food. Weird and strange.

I miss my grandma...

wanted to post pictures of the funeral.. but rather not. It just makes me feel sad all over again.

Purikura with mah Sis

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:52:33 GMT

More under cut: PURIKURAAAAAAA

Shopping Spree that does not really belong to me O_o

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:29:26 GMT

well... like the title says. Shopping spree that does not belong to me. Brought my sis to Times Square for shopping today coz she kept complaining bout not having clothes or nice clothes to wear. So, my mom gave us Rm300 to buy some clothes for HER. Not me lol i wish that someone could gimme cash =3= walked around times square from first to sixth floor and repeated each floor for at least 3 times.
Bought real load of stuffles today and kinda made my sis addicted to shopping lol.. bad me. and my secret is out =3= to my sis. My deepest darkest secret of having a boyfriend is out and i've let her know today. Coz i took her out and bear bear along with Yudan's mom for dinner today. And.. yeah,. That's what happened. truth is, she has her own secret too =D

she has a boyfriend of her own for 7months now and NON OF US dared to tell our mom coz it will be a death wish. Well, a girl has to grow now don't we?

Took her to Sek Hou and she tried the dish i loved and she is still loving it now lol The only thing edible, to me at least at Times Square Sek Hou 3rd floor, is the black pepper udon with beef slice. Bear bear and i always order that if we are eating there. Its lurvee~ after lunch we shopped like hell the whole day. Let's see what we bought =D

Yeah.. this is the lot of stufflez we bought using just only RM250

::: Boots! Hey! Its nice ok! Although my dog is ignoring me at the back. Mom didnt really liked it =3= she said it was lala. Seriously mom, your generation of lala was platforms. Our generation of lala now is furry furry slippers and fish net =D and a pair of new shoes. Don't really know the genre name of it but i call it tulang ikan shoes LOL coz they look like fish bones:::

:: My favourite. I don't know what you call these heels but in chinese, or just among my friends, we call it iron board heels. Of all shoes, i like this one the best. Which reminds me, does this shoes reminds you of a game character? It does to me =D

Link of the character: koeiwarriors.co.uk/artworks/dw6/db/wu-ssx1.jpg :::

:: Well, this one is practically mine lol its nice =D soft and nice. Very casual and i think im gonna wear it next week when college starts =3 :::

:: two pairs of pants. The top one with burberry look alike buttons and belt is mine and the gold gold one is my sis's. Niceee, fits perfectly. Then its my sis's one piece. Pinkish one piece with laces on the bottom and abit of uh... cheetah like prints =D :::

::: styles are kinda alike but the prints are <3 looks just so cute~!!! :::

::: both are my sis's T__T non for me:::

What does the aftermath looks like?

THIS

And yeah, imagine us with 4 pair of shoes and a whole load of stuffs walking here and there the whole day? to this store to the other store. The people there are like.. WTF! We were kinda harrassing most girls around the mall lol coz they are so so so so so = = at us coz usually attendees will just give you the dirty look coz they would most probably think that you won't be purchasing anything when you walk into a shop these days. Today was just lol coz we walked in with SO MANY BAGS around our hands and we look like as if we stole a few shops lol they were treating us like princesses and is tending us to our every whim. Wow, how.. hypocritic lolz

so we went for a purikura session. Malas to work on the scanner. Maybe tomorrow =3 so until then, have some satay fish love =D

lol bought satay fish from Melaka and after one bite... TADAAAA instant LOVE! XD

niters everyone

Random family leads to randomness

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:18:27 GMT

My family is so random.

Its the second day of Hari Raya. Salam Raya everyone!
So went to Seremban to my Cousin In Law's place for Raya celebration as always. This year's really crowded coz Zam brought her girlfriend, Julia lol then most funniest thing was, Azman's brother's two children was there. One girl and one boy. The boy followed Zam and Julia out and left the niece behind. Poor thing, she bawled so loud ABAANGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! ran out to the front gate. lol Whilst in Seremban, we were really bored and Azman were like... why don't we go somewhere?

My cousins Ah Wai and his friends were like.. sure. Let's go melaka. I was like WTF! SO RANDOM!
Me, mom, dad, Tania, Ah Wai, his two friend Ah Yin, Ah Keong, my aunt, My elder Couz Ah Kuan, his wife, two kids, Azman and her wife my cousin sis. Three cars started and we went straight to Melaka after that. Wtf. I followed Ah Wai and his two friends' car. SHIT THESE GUYS DRIVE LIKE MANIACS.

You know kampung roads are really narrow and two way. My cousin straight went to the next lane and cut cars. THERE ARE CARS INCOMING FROM THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION WTF and the most epic thing is, the other two cars are doing the same behind us wtf. Sooo fine we reached Melaka after an hour. We circled around the city for an hour coz of the major jam and there were no parking space left. So in the end we get to park behind Mahkota. We walked to Jonker Street and we were shopping like crazy.

I was evil and shocked. I was walking in the middle of the road coz this really nice Celica was on the road. I told my aunt to walk with me and blocked the road and said, berani then come hit us la. When i reached Sam Su Gong, the Celica stopped next to me and the window wind down, a loud SANDYYYYYYY came from the car i was so shocked! Tiffany was in the car. LOL I WAS LIKE OMFG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE! She was going OMG SANDY!!! SO NGAMM!!! everyone in Jonker Street was like O__o at us lol

Then we went shopping for snacks and souvenires for neighbors at Sam Su Gong. The whole place reminded me of the bear. We went there together and shopped there once back from our trip.

A little pic lol

Shopping at Sam Su Gong was epic. Everyone had their own baskets and nobody STOPPED NOBODY from putting anything to each other's baskets lol

:::My mom, sis and my aunt. Pointing everywhere to get EVERYTHING:::.

:::My mighty basket of Snacks:::

::: My dad in front of Sam Shu Gong :::

So after all the snack and fattening stuff shopping, we walked back from Jonker Street to Pahlawan. I've yet to try the becas but its kinda nice and beautiful. Most funniest thing is, some of the becas are equiped with amplifiers weii lol coool!! and some of them even had Hokkien songs playing and some even rave party or clubbing trance XD we were like wtf thats so cool wei!! Then we saw three becas having rave music. They went from Red House to Pahlawan end, and raced back to the house and all of them were playing rave music lol

Video of the crazy thrishaws with rave music in a race. Look at the pretty colors =D

So we went back to Mahkota to get our cars. But! Before going off, first i need some shopping for myself! MAC PRODUCTS LOLZ~!!
They were having a sale for 20% off each item so i got myself some eyeshadows and a sweet pink blusher. OoOoO! SO LOVE!

so came home from all the way from seremban, melaka and now yeshhh KL. Oh yeah, forgot to take pictures at the Portugese Settlement. Was a sad dinner tho. When we got there, they were sold out. Most of them were sold out. This trip is freaking random. My cousins were like, let's go get some satay. Sure, drive up to sate celup, sat down, had some gone. And then we were at some random park and then we came up with some random idea saying, let's go buy some ice cream, we walked all the way to some random kedai runcit and bought ice cream. Then we were so random we suggested on walking from Jonker to Mahkota and said, let's go to the Jetty. And we did. Then when it's time to go home, we just said, let's go back to seremban? We did =A=

SHIT EVERYONE IS SO RANDOM WEI!

But random i like =D

I love my random cousins influencing my parents into a random trip =D
random spot.
They said, next time, its gonna be penang. LOLZ

Bad News Streak

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:44:55 GMT

WTF IS HAPPENING WEI!

All im receiving nowadays are bad news bad news and more bad news and WORSER news.

This post is dedicated to the uncle i never once got to bond with.

Couple days ago my uncle from Perak called and everytime the house phone rings, its either bad news or so-so news. Usually relatives phone our house number. So he said that my mom's 3rd bro is in a very bad state. My uncle Tong. Uncle Tong is a lone man living his whole life in suffering, jeers and insults. He's a very gentle guy. Unfortunately he is born with a defected face coz back then in his generation, there were no such thing as BCG and shots to prevent from facial deformity and a deformed right leg which left him limping his whole life. He couldnt find a decent job in his younger days due to his deformed face, his face was tilted to the right. Most of his right part of his body is deformed. He then worked at a cinema as a ticket seller back in his younger days and then as those road lottery ticket sellers that bugs you when you eat in restaurants. He had a restless life, where he has to constantly strive for food and money to live. One day a china whore came to him and as a deformed man, he finally found acceptance. He was content. The china prostitute then scammed all of his money. He was torn and hurt. He lived throughout his life in poverty, limping ever since he was borned.

I admit when i was a child, i was a hater. I hated him so much and i wished that he would never show up in my life anymore. He would out of the sudden once in a blue moon, press our door bell and he was standing outside once a year visiting us unannounced. It was a wonder that he could limp all his way to the bus stop in perak and take the bus to KL and take a taxi to our place just to visit us when he had the free time. I used to avoid him when i was a child. Whenever he tried to talk to me or hold my hand i used to shake it off or ignored him. When he handed food to me i will throw it away. Yet he never said anything but he just smiled.

Now he is gone.

A year ago he got ran over by a motorcycle and he was bed ridden. Yet he was still energetic and kept complaining to go places. He refused to eat yucky food and complains that he was eating too much medicine and made him even sick. We laughed whenever he tried to hide his pills into his pocket when he refused to take them. Yet we still never really talked.

Couple of days ago he was unconcious, he couldnt move or talk much. My parents went to Perak to visit him yet i cant go coz im having my finals. They came back to KL around the evenings and at around 1am, our house phone rang, and the news came. I couldnt attend his funeral.

Thinking back, i never had the chance to get to know him. I never let that chance happened. I could never say i was sorry for what i did back when i was four to him. I will always remember the gentle smile of my Uncle Tong.

Rest in peace.

Now, i received even more bad news. My fathers' brothers. His eldest bro had internal bleeding, third bro had nose cancer, and worse of all... my grandma is dying.

Wtheck

I ish scared...

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 16:27:12 GMT

im scared.
Im not ready to leave here T__T
Im not ready to leave everything i have at home, my family and especially him. Im not ready to leave everyone here around me. Im not ready!! I'm not ready to fly up way into the skies.

Im not ready at all!!
Im scared T__T i don't wanna go
Im not ready to go yet...
I don't want to leave everything that is convinient to me here.
I don't wanna leave for so long and being shut off from civilization...

I DON'T WANNA GO TO TARC KAMPAR BRANCH!!!!

T____T Fuck you tarc for having ur campus so damn frikkin far away

Ish bored

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:17:52 GMT

Wowness. How long has it been since i've touched my blog? swt

Cut short everything and summarizing everythin nowz.

Lately i've been homely and wifey-like =A= i kept making bento for bear bear and drive all the way to his working place and send him bento lol shit.. i feel like a woman. I wanna be a girl. Now WOMAN XD

picca of bento:

Bought some salmon may and unagi onigiri and made salad, some ham chips and made tako-like taiwan sausage for the bear. He spilled the mayonaise on the salad.. swt... and made a mess in his bag. Padan muka lolz

and i ish scared wei, any of you guys have any idea how to regulate my menstruation cycle?? =3= i have weirdness. I didnt period for 2month,s no im not pregnant thank you. And the third month i took some chinese traditional pills called Chong Qing Pills to 'regulate' my menstrual cycle and now its the fourth month and its not working =3= fourth month still nada... shit.. its so unstable. Bear bear said its coz im over stressed over assignments and stuff lately... i duno =__=

After having steak at TGIF at The Curve, i have cravings for steak =__= i had 8oz and i feel its not enough although my sis had the same and she couldnt even finish half along with her side orders. I could finish an 8oz easily with the two corn cobs and brocolli and even a whole plate of fried mozarella... shit.. im getting fatter weii. Next time its gonna be 10oz LOLZ

The 8oz i had during my birthday.

Took this picture coz i couldnt stop laughing at the number plate. Got Leet? ADA Leet? Ade 1337. Yes, i gotz leet.

random picture of me cat and dog napping together lol

Unless Im Free Enough

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:56:14 GMT

My blog.. or journal... or watchamalist you call it. Is my SANCTUARY.

I need more than just popcorn now that i realize that there are people that reads my blog from college. Apparently, they are getting offended by it and some certain someone is spreading my blog link like wildfire in a hot summer's day. I don't get it, if it offends you then stop reading my blog =__= if you missed out my entry when i last warned you guys, fine. I'll repeat this again after repeating ever since a year or so ago.

IF YOU GET FREAKISHLY FRIKKIN OFFENDED OF MY ENTRIES WHATSOEVER WHETHER IT HAS TO DO WITH YOU OR NOT, GET OUT you bloody fag.

I was quite amused when they get worked up all over a blog entry =__= come on, people write and people forgets. What do you expect? Straight away and beat you up when meeting you face to face? Its still amusing to see people getting all goo goo gaa gaa over my blog entry. Popcorn really isnt gonna be enough now. So someone get me a large coke, two bottles of mineral water, get me a hotdog with extra mustard, a Carl's Junior Super Star combo, some chips and a bucket of ice cream. The show is getting heaty =D

Kar Chun asked me to write something bout him in here. Seriously dude, i have no effing idea what to write bout you. Apparently few of my peeps i met back in Pandan Indah and Subang two days ago saw my entry and felt that they REALLY wanna meet my college peeps lol come on guys. Spare us okay? You guys are too old to meet my college peeps. You really HAVE to understand that we are still teenagers damn it. You think that you are still young? For crying out loud, you guys are mostly 25 over! Aint so young no more lol XD Yeah, hit me the next time you see me for calling you old hahah

Sometimes, psychology insecured little kids should just fend themselves off from my offending blog. Are you squirmish? Are you easily aggravated? Then DONT READ. If you avoided my warnings, then you are perfectly normally healtily retarded.

anyway,

went yumcha with Hikki, Billy and Samuel a day or two back. Ugh, was so lost from what to do next so i decided to drive all the way to Pandan indah and fetch EVERYONE back to their respective homes lol one is in Pandan Indah, one is at Pudu Ulu and one at Hang Tuah. Yeah, im wasting petrol but hey, nothing beats a great night out with such great friends eh? The only person missing in the car was my dear dear lol too bad he was busy so we couldnt call him out. We COULD but i just cant afford to drive up to Bukit Segar coz its already depleting my petrol wastage and driving up the hill is gonna kill me and my car next. We were headin to Coffee And Cream house at Pandan Indah until we spotted a new cafe next to it which previously came from a guling-ed mamak. Its a new steak house. More of a cafe steak house and not those Tony Roma TGIF kinda steak house. Still, way better than Taman Billion steaks and WAY better variety of steaks. At least its ALMOST an inch thick than those poser few CMs thick steaks. Nice, not bad and the evnvironment and interior is just country =D the weird thing that i like the most bout the place is? hahaha the toilet. NO KIDDING. I like the toilet. DIm, and scary but still, the toilet is REALLY unique. Most of the design is country. It has a second floor with a balcony in the middle of the dining area and a nice chandelier from second floor to the first. The stairs connecting the first and second floor is quite low and small and steep, so the funny thing is on the platform from the second floor.

' Congratulations, you will be winning a prize'

Thats the message on the platform coz if you are walking down the stairs and knock your head on the way, thats what the stair platform says lol the best thing bout the toilet is its so unique i don't really know how to describe it in words. You lock your door and your door is made from those traditional wood latch like those you have it in the barn. You lock yourself in and then do your thing. Hikki saw this but i didnt. A box says, OPEN ME. FEMALES DUN OPEN. She took a peep and its a trick box. Yeah, females please dun open it. Coz a fake roach will jump out. Apparently the guys there wont want no female guest screaming her lungs off in the toilet and there's no way to get in lol one bad thing bout it is, the waiters and waitresses are either Myanmarians or Thais. So, have fun trying to communicate with them.

I think my stomach is trying to tell me something. I think its telling me to lay off those spicy stuff lol i cant help it XD i have a weird sudden craving for something spicy nowadays.

A guy in friendster just cant stop bugging me =__= i told him i was doing my assignments yet he STILL insists on trying to date me and nudge attacks me on msn. Seriously you guys should stop abusing the nudge. Wait till i crack the nudging system and get back msn 7.0 and nudge spam everyone that ever nudges me and ABUSE the button. I'll sick my nudging rampage on you.

Hanging out at Samuels made me reminisince the old days when we used to do just sit around and do nothing in his room and went cuckoo in the room next to his lol and the days that i used to go yumcha with him EVERY friday. Then when i see my previous entries that i;ve never thought that i would read, it made me thought of my past. The exes i had that never worked out. No, im not talking bout Danny and Chris. The others that i've once went out with but never worked out i meant. My ex, Justin, i think i kinda disappointed him lately. Kept calling me out for yumcha but i kept turning him down coz im always busy with something lol either other friends already took over my time, either im already sleeping at home, or im out with the bear or something. LOL

i miss the old days,

where i just hang around and do just anything stupid and dare anyone on anything. i Need to get my body back =A= and how the heck am i supposed to pay Juin when she is gonna close down her batch soon >_< cant find anyone else to make my costume if she is gonna close it down soon. Gah... think.. THINK JUN!

no can do..

brain damaged.

LOL niters everyone. Bless you guys that read my blog and fuck you guys again that got fucked up over my blog LOL

Politix and Doramu

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:33:50 GMT

College is full of doramu =__=

Drama and politics is never avoidable in college. Betrayal too.. this is just stupid =__= i have no idea what's what with youngsters these days. Or maybe i got too old for this.

Hurt and disappointed. Thats what i feel about Anlynn and Louise. Well, more to of being disappointed to them anyway lol they were the ones that ditched me, or avoided me or something coz they feel that my way of doing assignments, the friends i have, or whatever reason they feel convinient to is why the should leave me behind after being friends for that long of a time period, and now they make themselves look as if they are the victims and im the one who dumped them and called insulted them. Uh, i have no idea how i insult them coz if wasting my time by playing left4dead most of the time in college area cyber cafes is insulting them then.. i guess all cyber cafes should gulung tikar.

Seriously..
dramafags should just...
ugh... =__=

And the best part is? They have sebastian to coop up with lol the most non brain user of the group. Assignment wise he is usable but human wise.. not so wise at all. We had this drama assignment back in year one and we went to Shereen's place for shooting and she is the daughter of FELDA's CEO and so yes the big guy is old. Sebastian has the nerve to actually say that 'oh, since her father is so old, when he dies, Shereen can get loads of 'harta' after he kicks the bucket'. That day itself made me feel like slapping sebastian hard. The best part bout sebastian few days ago is when i called him gay. We were all laughing at the joke i made bout him and duh, anyone would know that its a joke even if you are offended or not. Its a joke and it only matters when you get offended. But the way he takes it, is way over my league of comprehension. He told my friend this;

Sebastian: I hate sandy coz she says that im gay
Friend: She's only joking la
Sebastian: I don't like it.
Friend: But when anlynn and Louis said that you are gay, you din get offended?
Sebastian: They ok one. Coz i know they are joking. But sandy is different, she is serious that im gay.

LOL???
Seriously, LOL?????
I am totally lost of words to actually describe him of his mentality and what he is doing now. I think you guys get the picture. Kids. They only like to hear what they want to hear and shove off what they hate to hear bout.

And the best part is,
today we are discussing on what to write a report on for english and everyone had to get an approval from the lecturer before proceeding our topics. Sebastian asked Sarah what's her topic so Sarah jokingly and i repeat, JOKINGLY made up a topic which has nothing to do with me whatsoever about; Why i Hate Sebastian. Sebastian asked HER and i have nothing to do with her jokes and he feels that SANDY THE GREAT absolutely has everything to do with it and so conviniently he makes an assumption and makes it a fact that SANDY THE GREAT asked the whole group of Sarah's to boycott him =A=

what the eff?

I have never seen such perasan-ted person in my whole life. The whole class got approval from the lecturer coz our report topics are quite general such as pregnancy nla bla bla bla shopping and stuff. Anlynn, Louise and Sebastian just came up and showed their mentality and maturity by presenting a topic which they have no idea what kind of words should they use on;
' Why friends burn friends in a negative thinking but in a positive way'

=__=

Let me translate it.

Its supposed to be

' Why friends flame friends in a sarcastic way '

well, if i wanna be perasan yeah i feel terasa abit in the topic but... ?????? i mean.. dude. When you have something that you don't like bout an individual, its still between you guys PERSONALLY. They wanna make it public. Somehow i felt glad that i have a better way of handling feuds =__= if you guys cant handle conflict professionally, please spare us, or namely me from your childish frantics. I would have expected this topic from Sebastian but please, Anlynn and Louise? I never thought that they would stoop to that kind of level. I would have never thought that they would be THAT childish to entertain such topics and i thought that they would be mature enough to understand what is stupid and what is not. I was wrong. I was REALLLY wrong to have thought that Louise and Anlynn would have been a better person than Sebastian. I guess they are just the same.

I am VERY disappointed with the both of them.

Maybe my way of criticising people is harsh but hey. Think of what i said. To be honest, i felt hurt to be betrayed by the both of them who i call friends. I guess who doesn't get betrayed in college heh? Still, i cherish the times we had and used to have. Once you bit the hand that fed you, everything changes. They wanted to do this and then they make it look as if they are the victims. I give them a round of applause for that. Coz they deserve it for such a good stage performance ; )

Which somehow now that it hit me.
Im starting to question Sebastian's christianity. I think that there's a phrase in the bible somewhere that says, 'thou shalt not hate thy neighbour' something something. Lol look who's filled with hatred now lol
I shall let the three of them be consumed in hatred and do stupid things while i hold onto my popcorn and watch the show =D

anyway

went to ElCedor for father's day dinner. Elcedor is a Spanish restaurant that serves only and i mean ONLY PIG xD non halal yesh and the owner is a Spanish guy. Kena molest XD he's a great guy. We shared our food with five pax and i think we were pushing it. we ordered a cheese and macaroni with mozarella and bacon topping and a meatball pasta, specials; the ribs and the suckling pig in mango and herbs. The cute thing bout the restaurant is that when you order the suckling pig, the head of the night will chop the piglet with a plate in three parts and make a wish with that plate and break it. Yes, throughout the night, you will hear plates getting smashed and since it was father's day, we had our dad smashing his plate lol quite a unique experience. You guys should try it. We had complimentary bacon cream chowder and Tequila for digestives. My sis went drunk from a small glass of tequila. Depends on your luck coz the tequila is HEAVEN and its LIMITED XD

NON HALAL PICS

:::: The tequila i had :::

:::: Meatball pasta we had ::::

::::: Ribs that we had :::::

:::: The heavy course of the night. Suckling pig :::

Chinese restaurant suckling pigs are only served of the roasted crunchy skin but not here in Elcedor. Its served half a piglet then its really HALF a piglet with the meat and skin =A= it was a horror to finish it all up. Lucky thing that we had the digestives to warm up our bellies. We did not have the pasta and everything else we ordered individually. Everything was SHARED and still it was a horror lol but nevertheless, the meatballs were HEAVENLY and the ribs is a friggin reccomendation from me. It is LOVE! Its marinated in caramel and it tastes like popcorn. WHERE CAN YOU FIND PORK RIBS THAT TASTES LIKE POPCORN!??!? Only in Elcedor. Yeah, its always full so book your places before planning to have a dinner there. Its in Changkat Bukit Bintang. Bloody high class good for nothing street. LOL

I miss my bear bear =3
he bought me a new phone =D now i have two phones lol actually i was planning to go fix my W960i's touch screen coz its going cuckoo again. Right at the day that bear bear lent me his new W705, i asked for it so that i have a phone to use when i get mine to fix. Eventually my phone got jealoused of the W705 and the touch screen is working just fine again. I wanted to give the phone back to bear bear but he said that the phone is mine for the taking. YAY XD i love you so so much bear bear. No matter what he does, i will always love him just the way he is.

I ish off and equipped with arsenals for tmr's war with the childish brats again XD
oh yeah, i will be busy from this weekend onwards until 11-12th July weekends. I will be working in Guardians Sunway Pyramid so if you guys have the chance to come drop by, call me for lunch yea lol

Mega Lolz

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:12:15 GMT

Well, i've been driving around with my expired license and now, i just realized that i've been driving around with an expired License AND road tax LOL I didnt realize that my road tax expired on the same date of my license! WTF. i didnt realize anything until my mom found out that my cousin's car's road tax was gonna expire and that hit her and she went to check on my car. She had to run all over KL just to renew my road tax lol sorry mom.

Not only that, i finally tasted the nostalgic taste of taking the lrt out again hahaha

went dating with dear dear again at times square, its been a long time since we had a whirl in the arcades so we spend most of our time there today and its been so long since someone asked me for help on how to face a threat from an ah long/taiko lol i think my advise was abit of a suicide. Coz his girl, more of a wife to be cheated on him and went out with this so called taiko that is already married with kids and threatened my friend to beat him up if he calls his ex again. The girl dumped him for the taiko. Have no idea whats ppl thinking lately. Remember ppl, if there's anyone, any guy threatens to beat you up and call up a gang to scare you. Just tell them this; you call your taiko to beat another guy up for a vagina. In the world of taiko-ness, there's a strict rule bout, DO NOT USE YOUR UNDERLINGS OR YOUR SUPERIOR'S NAME TO BEAT UP ANOTHER GUY FOR THE SAKE OF A BLOODY VAGINA/FEMALE. If you did, you get beat up by your superiors in the end anyway. So if there's anyone that tried to threaten you this, tell them that even their datuk also dun wanna look at you.

Then at the end of the day we had Sek Hou with Riku and his girl. Geez, his girl is one crazy bitch. So then we went to look for hikki at her place. I bought a bread replica keychain/phone strap. It looks like a bread and SMELLS like bread but it aint bread. There are cakes and stuff but i prefer the bread slice like the one you get from gardenia lol it smells like chocolate bread. NICE WEI. But, careful, the whole thing itself is chemical based and do not smell it too often or hold it too often. Will destroy your health.So play at your own risk lol

i brought it home and pranked my family. My parents did not fell for it, but my aunt did. She almost took a bite LOL but i prevented her from biting it coz of the over amount of melamine. Soooooooooooo ... next stop, college students LOL

i miss my dear so so much =3
its been so long since we dated like this. Most of the time we just hang around do nothing XD

Kompang-ness

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 07:03:19 GMT

+__+ was awaked by the sounds of kompang coz of my neighbor's wedding day. It didnt really bother me that much coz the intervals sounded like bass lol the most cutest part is when my dog got so scared over the sound of those booming kompang, it ran upstairs and scratched on my room door begging me to let her in. I opened the door and it gave me those puppy dog eye looks and whined the whole time so i let her up on my bed. She curled up and was shaking in fear lol i couldnt stop laughing at aki lol although i was really sleepy i couldnt really open my eyes fully haha

question, what do you guys think of wandering boyfriends or girlfriends? My law is simple, you wander for one i go for ten lol

having emo emo angry anxietic whatcamalist you call it last night. Came home late during the evenings coz my class finished at 7pm. Since everyone bailed out when i asked eddie if he wants to have dinner with me or not, he didnt want to coz he had to fetch poh lee home early so i fetched Chia yee back to her hostel. Wanted to have dinner with anlynn and louise but they bailed out also. Have no idea what's wrong with the both of them but they just never fail to make me go =__= at them. Just coz they have a problem with assignments and i think they don't like the idea of me being so mixed with taiko tailous something like that. Whateverrr man. I still cant stop lol-ing at them lol first few weeks of college and there's already politics going on around the campus. Serious lar.. when are you guys gonna grow up just a little? beh, and my anxietic strike is coming back again. I forgot to eat again. Not completely but my stomach is going numb again. So, i don't know when im gonna forget what i ate or not lol Went to jusco wangsa with chia yee, eddie, chee teck, kenzie, ivy and i forgot what's her name lol coz ivy need a new book rack coz her house is loaded with books everywhere. So we split up and i payed my bills and bought some essential stuffs that i need for my car's ventilation thanks to kaori who purposely smoked in my car and i need air fresherners now. So i bought a packet of bead fragrance from glades and at least it smells great now. No more jusco selection packets =__= Then we hang out around the arcades for a little while and i didnt really planned to play on the ferris wheel gift box where you need your timing to unlock the carriages with a lever and a plush toy or gift will fall. So i was tempted coz the wheel was filled with strawberry plushies lol then out of dumb luck, i got myself a strawberry bolster. Wasted Rm10 but the first bolster was gotten out of Rm3. The other Rm8 was i wanted to get one for Chia yee. Failed anyway.

Last night was wtf. Serious wtf
My driving license expired and i didnt knew anything bout it coz i didnt check. I was still driving on thursday where it expires on wednesday and on thursday, there was a road block by JPJ checking driving licenses LOL lucky thing i got through without getting stopped for inspection and i got to know that its expired just only after i finished having dinner with my dear dear at pandan perdana and the road that usually has inspections for license is just around the corner near dear's place wtf i was so freaked out. Since i couldnt find anyone to have dinner with me so i went to look for my dear again for dinner lol we kept hitting each other with my strawberry bolster and i have one big 3in1 attached strawberry bolster kept inside my car so while driving, we were hitting each other like stupid. I think the cars next to us or behind us is going wtf as they were driving lol

and that i have no passport sized photos to start with and i told my parents bout my expired license, they put the blame on me =_= wtf? I blame myself for not checking it early enough but what they were blaming on me was ridiculous. I don't have passport sized photos. Sorry, i don't take pictures often but heck? You blame me coz i dun have them? And then you blame me that my license expired so early and blame me that saturday is a public holiday and i am so stupid. Wtf man. And then i said i have class on monday and they blame me for having class on monday =__= WTHECK???

Well, let me say this,

- I don't have passport sized photos is because i dont have them and i don't have the need to take a picture of myself for it. Blame the needs and wants not me.
- My license expired coz the JPJ says so. Blame JPJ not me.
- Saturday is a public holiday coz its Agong's Birthday. Blame him not me.
- Im stupid coz i have your genes. Blame you not me
- I have class on monday coz the college says so. Blame my college not me.

UGH!!!! I wish i could find a job and be a millionair now and get my ass off from this forsaken roof to be called as a home. Don't you think that im not pressured. I AM pressured. Though i never failed my subjects in college, im still scared that i might not get enough CGPAs to pass my whole course. What is wrong with me =__= my friends say coz its me getting too involved with stuff and problems that i have no time to concentrate on my own studies. Maybe they were right. I need to lay off and relax. I need to stop worrying bout stuff that doesnt relate to me although they keep finding their way to get near me.

I need to slack off a little more often.

Im tired =__=

tired of being the one that is working off her butt most of the time doing everything for everyone.

Money Meepzz

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:33:19 GMT

Well, its time to work =3= and im feeling abit bored of working actually. I have a very lazy bone to start with. At least the pay is good =D Imma gonna work at Pyramid Guardians for Dove Unilever as a promoter for a little while. Pay is good at least. Rm100 per day. So its gonna be RM600 into mah pocket soon lolz since im working for 3 weeks part time every saturday sunday. Gonna earn some extra income =3= coz im too addicted to shopping now.

My neighbor five doors over is having a wedding kenduri. Rich bastard, five house apart and their tent is set up all the way to my front door. Its still okay now coz we can still park our cars under the canopy. Imagine the day of the wedding man... its gonna be a havoc. Coz their makcik pakcik sedara mara nenek datuk moyang cucucicit is gonna come over and where are they gonna park their cars? Right... its gonna be a murder.

College was alright i guess, assignments is a murder. i have to do loads of research from now on. Gawd, i wished that i could slack off once in a while during college. I just HAVE to end up in a useless group and do all the work myself =_= will someone ever let me rest for a little bit? Although work was great but this is just peh. Good news is, Mr Julius Ang is teaching me history again yay. I can slack off his class anytime i want and just buy some snacks for him and he'll be alright lol

Went to look for dearie today. well, at least everything's turning out good day by day now. The only thing i could do now is wait until he is stable enough in his career and stuff.. yeah, stuff. Nevertheless, i still love him loadz..

Im having a writer's block...

all i want now is money and my dear XD

Confused?

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:06:56 GMT

Well, i wanna give a whole bunch of big big big big BIG thanks to Brian, Eddie and Chee Teck for helping me out. The bear got into trouble coz he let a customer who owed the company and now he has to pay. To you guys, i can pay you back around 17th full hopefully.

Im wondering, since i did too much this time and he did told me that he felt pressured coz i did too much for him again. The last time he felt pressured, he lost feelings towards me a little. So now i don't think this favor is a small one. Im afraid that he might lose even more feelings towards me coz of the feeling of guilt lingering in him. Though he may not admit it, well, i aint stupid. I know him so i can practically guess what's gonna happen.

After repaying everything, thats the time when im gonna see what's gonna happen. Coz i asked Kian Hong's opinion on my situation, he too would feel the same way but depends.

What im most afraid of is, one day, if he would still bear this guilt in him and so happens that he lost feelings for me entirely and wanna break up, but he didnt ask for a break up. He might stay together with me just coz of the guilt and responsibility to repay me back. I don't want that. I don't want a relationship out of responsibility and repaying gratitude. Coz i've seen alot of my friends went through this kind of situation which i did not expect that i would experience it myself too. Well, if he really reads this, i wish to let him know that if so happens that he lost feelings for me out of pressure or he found someone new, its ok to tell me for a break up. I rather get hurt and know the fact that its a fact that you already got bored of me or something than to get even hurt to know that you were with me for the whole time just coz of responsibility and guilt.

Or maybe i should save all the tears and just ask for break up myself than to hurt anyone further and relieve him of his guilt and burden.

I know the risk im taking at the very moment i decided to help him. But i just cant sit here and look at him die.

im confused...

what should i do from now on?

Ugh! First week of HORROR

Fri, 29 May 2009 17:03:55 GMT

First week of college was a HORROR. I have no idea what made me wanna go college whatsoever. I do NOT have an idea WHY the heck did i even attend the tutorial replacements from Ms Yeow for Public Speaking. I drove there for nothing. I sat there for nothing. Most of the time, whatever i did there was ran to the toilets as soon as i put my bag down coz i have a severe stomach ache when i was driving on my way to college and god knows how much suffering i was in. Then i went to the toilet and spent the most ridiculous 15minutes of my life in class.

Then i went to hang out at Chee Kun's place and talk bout stuff and then headed to lecture and damn was it a boring one. We are talking bout Malaysian Histrories. IN ENGLISH. Malay was bad enough but now in english. Like hell there's no difference with the story, just that its in bloody english. I don't get it, its not like history is gonna change when its in english or anything. Just bloody give us back in malay so that it could cut us some slack than remembering shitty stuffs that most probably we have never even heard about during our high school in english. What's the big deal with english man? Its not like our lecturers are really great and literate in english or anything. So just spare us from listening to those manglish that our lecturers are trying to force feed into us. Malaysians' english is already reeking so stop making it worse =__=

i got my results for last semester's subjects. It is a damn disappointment. I memorized my notes like shit. Studied like hell and all i got was a crummy old C+???? WTHELL? I gave exact answers coz i memorized the whole stack of notes. Then i gave exact and complete examples and situation case for the whole thing. I practically almost made an essay out of the question and all i got was a crummy ol C+ when people who practically did not even touch their notes and study actually could afford to get an A??? What the hell is wrong with the examiners man!? This is SOOOOO the motivation i need for my studies =__= to hell with you examiners.

The college is so full of bleh for the first week. Not to mention my ex =__= oh... my god. I do not know why in the world would he do that but he DID that =__= and really, i do not know what is his purpose but i feel that he looked REALLY stupid doing that. I mean, he seriously look like the world's most biggest retard i've ever met. Heck, seriously dude! Whatever he did there was actually showing to me that it was God saving me from a whole life of mistake. It seriously. Man, seriously. SSEEEEEEERRIIUUSSSLYYY! What in the world was he thinking and nothing's gonna happen you idiot. You just showed how immature you are and how consumed you are by your past. GET A LIFE. He kissed a girl in front of me and then gave me the 'too bad for you' look. Is that supposed to make me feel bad or something? Like hell i would? It made me laugh so hard and i almost headdesk myself to death. DUDE! If you wanna go date her just go on man. Spare me from looking at your frantics TRYING to make me feel bad. I found my other half already so could you just live with it? Nothing is gonna make me feel bad bout us breaking up or make me flinch or feel anything related bout you =__= it actually made me feel REALLY GLAD. Glad that im away from you. WTF weiiiiiiiii can someone slap him silly for me? Right after he went 'too bad for you', his friends were laughing with him =__= blabablabagarh?

i cant believe that idiots do exist =__=

No life no shit

Wed, 27 May 2009 16:46:45 GMT

College slightly started. Why i say slightly? Coz most of the classes were bloody canceled. The best part is, Yeow Lai Chee is back to teach us Public Relations. No, i am not happy bout her coming back to teach us, i was being sarcastic. Coz i never liked her. Not her clumsiness and irresponsibleness. Most of us certificate students back in 2007 did not make it to diploma coz of her. She can misplace your assignments and blames us and says that we did not hand in our job. WTF the next time she ask us for assignment handouts, im gonna MAKE HER sign a form first before she takes our project to prove that WE DID HAND IT OVER. She takes her assignments seriously. Well, who doesn't? I take mine seriously too hello? I don't want my spotless record tardied thanks to your carelessness.

Back in 2007, a whole bunch of friends of mine in broadcast had to repeat their subjects and in the end we had to sign a petition together with Graphic Design, Broadcast and Public Relation students just to sound the bloody Ms Lai Chee in the office to take her own responsibilities. There's no such reason bout you being a part time lecturer means that you can misplace our stuff just like that. Not only that she misplace our assignments, the stupid part is, she can fail your assignments last minute and not telling you no shit at all. Then when tomorrow's your finals for the very subject that she is teaching, she can call you or text you in the middle of the night and say 'you don't need to go take the exam tomorrow coz you failed your coursework and you have to repeat the whole subject next year'. WHAT THE HELL. In tarc, every student has the right to know whether how good or bad is their project and if should they fail, they are all given a chance of a make good project to at least pass the subject. But she did not even give us no shit of a sound bout us being failed or pass and she made us waste another year of our lifetime in the college =_= not only that, now she wants to start our tutorials early coz she has the RIGHT to go Bangkok next week for a vacation and leave us with a whole bunch of courseworks for us to think of what she wants from us. WTF??? Like hell, there's a whole month of semester break, why didnt you go bangkok THEN?? Why must you choose when we already started college? EFF YOU .

Anyway, went out on sunday with Brian, Ivan and DA for a game of L4D when brian's so suddenly free lol i was still sleeping until he gave me a wake up call to go out and i was having a good dream wei =_= it was so good that i havent had it for like.. forever =__= and he had to call me and wake me up to kill zombies lol we usually go L4D at NetStudio Sri Petaling but then we kinda have this urge o go try out Blitzone near the school area though i was against it. Gave in eventually and turns out that it was right of me to be against it. The sound system sucked and the system keeps lagging most of the time. Not only that, it made brian mad XD But it was great coz at the end of the day, we were like wtf XD coz we only had 5minutes left and the game tilted and we were kicked out to the desktop. So, since it was only 5minutes left, we were playing blood harvest or something i think. We were in a train safe room and since it was only five minutes, the whole zombie shooting session turned into a homicide XD The moment the game starts, we started shooting each other until we fall. Who dies first fail XD we couldnt stop laughing and i think i almost choked on my Mocha that time lol couldn't really tell whether was it my saliva or my mocha haha then finally after several times of dying first, i was the last one standing at some point and i opened the door and i think DA shot the car and triggered the alarm and sounded the hoarde towards the safe room. So i had a shooting spree and everyone asked me to go suicide. I couldnt decide whether should i get pinned by a hunter or just get strangled to death by a smoker. Then they told me that behind the tracks where our safe room is on is a cliff so i headed towards the cliffs and jumped. We laughed like stupid. Mainly it was me who was laughing like stupid coz my character was Zoey and when she fell, her scream was so corny i couldnt help laughing lol.

Then after the game i got home around 5 or so and my mom was playing mahjong with Man and the others. Then came Kaori's phone call asking me to come out and have dinner with him. Eventually i said yes but he was trying to find for more people to go out. But to no avail, he couldnt so i made a bet with him. If i cant find hikki out then its off if hikki agrees to go then its still on. I don't mind driving up to her place and to subang anyway lol so she agreed and we went to Asia Cafe. I was thinking of calling Jared but Hikki and Kaori didnt really want to so.. i said maybe when we find a place to sit then we'll think about it. When we reached there, Kaori said there's no need to call coz there he is sitting there already lol He came with Nerv, Teh-O, KidChan and Cheebs. Then we sat inside and Kaori had fried rice, hikki had gyoza, so did i but it wasnt enough coz the buggers were damn small. So i ordered some sushi. We were thinking of playing a round of L4D together but Hikki didnt want to and wanted to play pool so we played pool and we sucked like hell XD then we hung out at Kaori's for a little while and headed home after that. It was great hanging out with that bugger once in a while lol its nice seeing benny again. Kaori's dog lol its been years since i've seen it. And its still wearing its diaper! XD

College was.. ugh. Yeah, i went to college on the first day. Arent i a good student? LOL anyway, i couldnt help going peh at the juniors lol coz i was wearing really peh that day coz it was only a freakin lecture so i didnt really wanna stand out like i used to be ~~lol perasan la~~ and the newcomers were like, peh on me coz i was walking alone. We tarcians are pathetic lol we can practically stand out with simple stuffs not like your porsche or ferarri or whuetever shit you guys have in your rich and famous private colleges. We are very conservative we have normal lives. Turns out the lala sanctuary myth bout tarc is wrong. We are just poor kids who cant afford to live so happily like you guys with your parents giving you money to pay RM30k for a whole course and we are more to realistic than 'oh im so educated than you coz you are from TARC and im not' mentality. So lemme tell you guys how pathetic it is lol i can shut anyone of those juniors up just coz i have a car and just by making havoc =D XD the more people you know in college, the more i get to pwn you. LOL i just love the psycho college i have. Though its so problematic and stingy, still i love em people.

Anyway.. i still hate my time table nevertheless =D

and,

i have no idea what's restaurant city in facebook is for and its not addictive and no. Sorry, im not like you guys who have no lives by clicking on your facebook everyday waiting for your character to level up everytime and just sit there ranking yourselves when its not even you =__=;; i rather go out and play l4d anytime anyday or come out hang out than to just sit in front of the pc and log into facebook and go duhhhhhhh..

i just don't get FB games.

I HATE MY TIMETABLE

Sat, 23 May 2009 18:01:03 GMT

I hate my second year timetable. ITS MURDER! I have to start class at bloody 8am and then it ends at farking 8pm WTFF

College is a bummer!

Im now think if i should go college or not =__= coz every first week of a new semester, tutorials are always off until week two. The bloody class i have until 8pm is a lecture class. Lectures are still on regardless whether its first week or not and even if the tutorials are off. Im now thinking if i should go college at 6pm just to catch the class or not =_=

Here goes my timetable:

Mon

12pm - 1pm Translation for Eng, BM & Chinese (T)
2pm-4pm AHMC2414 (i duno wat subject) (L)

Tue
8am-10am Translation Eng, BM, Chinese (L)
12pm-2pm    Chinese Translation Class
4pm-6pm   Public Speaking (L)
6pm-8pm English for Masscomm (L)

Wed
8am-10am AHMC2414(T)
10am-11am Chinese Translation Class (T)
12pm-2pm   Psychology Class (T)
4pm-6pm Psychology Class (L)

Thurs
10am-12pm   Malaysia National Goals and Programmes (T)
1pm-2pm   Public Speaking (T)

Friday
8am-10am   Translation ENG and BM (T)
12pm-2pm   Public Speaking (T)
2pm-4pm    Malaysia National Goals and Programmes (L)
6pm-7pm   English for Masscomm (L)

(T) - Tutorial
(L) - Lecture
Red - Not my class
Blue - wtfness

WTHELLLLLLLLLLLL

i don't mind staying late in college if the college is something like Taylors or something in the suburban area. But this bloody college is FUCKING HAUNTED! No one in their RIGHHT MIND would love to stay back in my college when there's something lingering wei =__= not when there's actually a student getting possesed and stuffs flying around in the teacher's lounge!!!

NO WAIIII

Its testing our sanity!!!

THE COLLEGE IS EVIL!

They get to bloody get off early coz their office hours are till 4.30pm. And most of the time they already left at four! Which legitimate establishment lets you go at freaking four in the afternoon where standard time is at 5pm and some even had to go home at only 6.45pm???? You effing lazy college! And you expect us to stay back so late. Come on man! The lecturers needs their lives too you know? You make them attend college at effing 8am and leave at 10pm. Come on! We students need a break and so do you lecturers wei. You stupid departnment got problem or something? You guys are already the most laziest bunch of dirt in SSH yet you want to work us like dogs? Look at SBS wei~!!! They are efficient and hardworking. They DESERVES to get off at four. What are you guys doing in your offices? Shoot insults at us students that practically pays a role in paying your monthly pay check and do nothing bout our complains until the department has to find someone from the government to actually monitor you guys. You dun get such shit in SBS and SOT! SSH you guys suck wei! Puck up! And stop torturing us students and your lecturers! No wonder all the great lecturers that USED to teach us quit their jobs! DAMN YOU GUYS.

=___=

Dinner at Madam Kwan's

Wed, 20 May 2009 17:49:56 GMT

Since last semester Jayson, a friend of mine owe me a dinner and today he finally treated me for dinner lol Jayson is a friend i got to know from college when i was studying in certificate. Currently he is now working in UOB as a mortgage agent which i am getting annoyed at his constant rambling and ranting bout how hard is his job lol i got to know him coz we were both on the same job once in a modeling agency. Which, i forgot to ask the photographer a picture for portfolio +_+ i hate myself for forgetting this. Stupid idiot kept teasing me coz i forgot all bout it and sent me his instead and i thought it was mine -_- idiot pranked me. This is the picture that he sent to me and said it was mine. It was a joke lol

so today we met at Midvalley and its the first time i drove myself to midvalley coz usually it was brian that drove me up there so i don't quite have the confidence to drive myself to midvalley myself. So i parked my car at the north court and lucky me i got a parking space just right next to the mall entrance. So i hung out around MPH reading some biographies then he spooked me from behind. You see, he's taller than me ALOT and the way he walks.. =__= its soundless despite wearing those leather shoes. I was really spooked coz i was reading something tense in a corner until he made those spooky eerie sounds to scare me and i almost screamed in the middle of the bookstore. =_= and then everyone looked at me when i got spooked. FARK. Strangled him.

Then we had dinner at Madam Kwan's and i had some Mushroom Chicken Rice. Its Rm16+ just for some chicken rice =A= its just so stupid. Since he's paying, whutever XD and he introduced me that set so i just took it. He had a nasi lemak? Seriously, we should have eaten Shojokiya right next door for the same price with something better wei... but he's paying =3= i cant make any decisions so bleh and too bad for him. He wanted the fried chicken nasi lemak but he forgot to say anything to the waiter and he got rendang. Which... at the first glance, i felt like puking coz the rendang looked like waste from someone had an upset stomach.

::: Looks weird XD took this picture after he almost finished his plate though. but STILL looks like bleh XD :::

::: Took a snap shot of him when he was eating. He really hates people taking his picture but too late XD he was trying to push my phone away with the tissue but i pushed the button just in time haha :::

So then we messed around in the bookstore again coz he was looking for some books about property and interior design coz he is gonna work as a branch manager soon which he kept gloating about throughout the whole dinner. Whenever he tried to gloat, i squeezed lemon into his rice xD and we were the most noisiest customers XD then we walked around i helped him chose a new shirt coz he really need a new one =__= he looks positively GAY in pink. So like i always do, i chose lime green XD he looked okay and fresh in that color but he kept complaining so FINE. Black =3= i threatened him that i would make PLUs go after him if he wears black. But he still went for black lol im starting to question his preference XD Then we chatted bout modeling jobs. The last job he had was stupid. So was my last job.

We posed under the scorching beams for almost an hour and we were breaking into sweats. We both swore to never take any jobs that needs beams =A= Eventually we headed towards The Gardens and lingered around Hugo Boss looking for more shirts. Suddenly i got an sms from a guy called Tony Wong, a guy that was trying to after me since my last job at MetalTech. He bought me lunch and kept coming to my booth to talk to me when i was working. So he sms-ed me asking where am i. So i said im at Midvalley. So then he said that he's there too and if we could meet up. I didn't reply him coz i overlooked his message coz i was replying my dear. Then suddenly the both of us bumped into him and Tony thought that Jayson was my boyfriend -A- we made a clear point that there's NO WAY in hell that we would be couple lol but Tony didnt really quite believe us though. Not like i care coz Tony is just.. uh.. an acquaintance. So i don't really care what he thinks or whatsoever coz he's more like a stranger to me than a friend. I don't know him for pete's sake.

Then we went home and i drove myself home again. thanks to brian for giving me a heads up on where should i drive to and which road should i take, i didn't get lost XD Though the traffic there is a headache even its already 10 or so.

Honestly, during the whole dinner, i kept thinking of my dear the whole time. I felt that we really should go Shojikiya together someday =D since the weekday parking rates is flat. Way better than parking in Times Square lol akshually, the chicken rice i had didnt really fill my stomach. It was great and all meeting back an old friend but the dinner was just bleh. Im gonna find a way to make him treat me another dinner again. This time, something better lol XD XD XD

Honestly...

there's nothing interesting around Midvalley. I have no idea why we chose there in the first place. =__= nuts. When i asked him, he said that its coz it was his constant dating spot with his ex that he recently broke up with. Garh... i feel like a lol XD everytime we meet its always when he breaks up XD pwoor guy. Models should be in demand wei.. he fail XD XD XD (i got hit several times when i said that he fails XD)

anyway..

A friend in need is a friend indeed =D have to break his skull abit to make him numb from the pain don't i? XD

I almost murdered him for real...

Mon, 18 May 2009 13:15:47 GMT

I had a real bad temper today.. i burst. I woke up around 12pm just to make good the time for him to finish with his friend's funeral. I even took my time to wash my hair and blow dry it which i usually don't coz i hate wasting my time on that blow hard. So i took my time to cruise to college and thought of giving him a peace offering coz we had a slight disagreement the night before. We agreed before that i would go buy the gyoza he and his mom liked from a stall around wangsa maju. So i bought a whole good 20 of them and took my time heading to his place. I knew that he was still busy so as agreed, im heading to his place to wait for him while his mom can have the first pack of gyoza i bought. But as i've expected, my luck ran out today and his mom was out. So i was quite pissed and i sat in the car for an hour waiting. Still no one came home so i went for a walk myself at Jusco Maluri and bought few packs of onigiri that i thought that he would like. I even bought the last bottle of ramune on display for him coz i thought that he would very much like it. Still, i spent an hour tops in there and went back to wait. He was done. But, he had to go out for lunch with friends. I burst in anger coz as much as i hate liars, i hate waiting =_= I hung up on him and my blood was boiling like crazy and it got into my head.

I straight away drove home and stuffed everything i bought into the garbage can (ramune into the fridge lol) coz everything went to waste. I couldn't take it anymore and i can feel that im sick to my stomach with my anger. I gave up. I seriously gave up. I seriously thought of breaking up at the moment of the top of the heat. I just couldn't take it anymore. I really felt like screaming but i end up breaking everything i see in front of me. I broke my samsung mp3 player coz it got in my way. I just fling it to the side with my angry power and it hit the wall and broke into two. I broke my house phone coz i shoved it away when i was trying to get my notebook and almost broke two mugs. Broke one but almost broke the other one. I kept shooting him with hurtful words and asking him to find a new girl. I didn't gave him a chance to even explain himself or ask myself to understand the situation he was in. I just hung him up and close myself from listening any further. I froze my heart from feeling him.

Then he called Louis and told what happened and she told me that he was crying real hard and asked what happened between the two of us. She told me that he asked her to take care of me and to look after me. I called him a lot of times but he refused to pick up his phone. I felt really bad and he switched off his phone. I felt that i should call and i calmed down. My guilt starts to twist my stomach. He sent those messages as if he's gonna leave me for good. I felt really bad and after several bunch of miss calls, he finally answered my call and i was a few minutes early. I told him i was sorry for being such a selfish jerk and i couldn't help crying. I asked where he was coz the ambiance around him was not somewhere that he usually is. He was at a flat opposite his work place on the 17th floor. If i didn't call him, he would've jumped. He was at the verge of suicidal coz of me.

I almost killed him.
I almost murdered him..

I almost killed someone.. someone i truly love with my ignorance and selfishness. I could never live this down. He almost jumped. If i didn't called him, he would've jumped already. I feel so guilty. I feel VERY guilty coz of what i did. Coz of my temper, i almost murdered him. I could never forgive myself for this. No matter how many things that i could not have forgave myself, this is something that i would never forgive myself for. I almost killed him. The one that i love. I can never EVER live this down.

I need to control my temper. I don't care if you tell me that he's lying bout jumping or not. I know him. Whether or not did he wanted to jump, me making him so miserable is just intolerable. I am a monster! I now feel that there's a gap between the two of us. I know that he would be feeling awkward towards me from now on. I don't care. I want him to know that i still love him. Its my fault and this is why there's a gap between the two of us. I don't care whether its a gap or a splint. I swear to not hurt him anymore. I need to lay off with my self indulgence and stop being so intolerable and selfish. I will never be so ignorant ever again. I don't want to kill him. I don't want him to be suicidal again. I don't want to make him feel at the verge of jumping off a ledge...

I don't wanna be a real true murderer...

I can never live this down.

NEVER...

Im sorry dear.. im really sorry.. i so sorry that i could never forgive myself for this.