Random domain of Jun's

My dog always rattles the gate to tell us that she wants to come in or just to get out. At times my cat squeeze through the gate to get out so it makes the rattling sound also. So this is how Aki came home tonight after being missing for 10 days

Well, this sums up pretty much what happened tonight

Walking around Career fair and having feedbacks from the representatives of participating companies gave me a heart attack and a shed of a tear. I'm starting to get worried of the likelihood of future participants.

Walking around, i found out that there are so many companies that actually came into our college to recruit sales executives, promoters and more sales. Weird thing is, its held at SSH (Social Science & Humanities) vicinity. If you need students to get into sales, shouldn't you guys be promoting it at the SBS vicinity? (School Of Business Studies) so scouting through, only few companies/corporation caught my eye.

Accenture, Brandt, Marina Bay Sands Singapore, Genting, and Hong Leong. But Hong Leong was another let down too. I was thinking of HL Corporation but it was a banking division. Yeah, the normal old banking division. Was quite a let down and most of the job scopes was quite alright. Was very interested with the Marina Bay Sands Singapore crew. So eventually i'd walk up to them, i had my brain broke down.

The singaporean representative obviously couldn't speak english and unfortunately i don't speak mandarin. So he was the one who started asking and giving me options on what language should he use to communicate with me so of course i chose English. Then he started all Singlish on me. If he started the basic Singlish that i usually watch on Phua Chu Kang, i'd be glad too but he is using the Money No Enough Jack Neo, Mark Lee type of Singlish. So i had to stand there, holding my laugh in and just filled in resumes and stuff.

The job scope is very very very VERY interesting but the funniest thing is the rep started telling me how beautiful Marina Bay is. LOL of course it's beautiful. Look at it! And he started to say;

" Look, so nice so beautiful, got big high class casino hor "

" Then we give you dentist, clinic and your teeth with all full hor "

" Look at the building hor, so beautiful, we give you uniform hor "

i practically get what he is trying to say but i just couldn't help laughing bout it lol anyway, filled in my resume and hoping for the best anyway. Visa and everything would cost a bomb.

walking around left me in despair too as well. Other than sales department and the likes, i found out that human resource departments and customer service departments tend to find us college students as their main target. Customer service as in those who pick up your phones and answer to your calls and get fucks up by the customers if they have any complaints that they wanna file and the likes. I can see at least 4 booths there that is catering to such jobs in the small smalll career fair. Weird. Oh well, whatever puts bread on the table.

What let me in more despair was i realized how doomed is us Tarcian's english level is in the eyes of the participants. This recruitment company agency watchamalist approached me and talked about improving english but i refused as i'm quite confident with my english fluency. I may not be as good as an eurasian or a white but im certainly no Manglish speaker of course. Unless im drunk or something. Somehow, the woman told me, and gave me her number and contacts immediately to call her if im interested in working for their company. I forgot bout their company and i asked why.

She said, throughout the whole career after consulting and advising so many students that attended the fair, be it UTAR students or KTAR students, MOST of them could not speak english well. I was the first in the whole fair to speak fluent english. I was taken aback really. I didn't expect TARCians and UTARians to have really really bad english to the extent that outsiders and corporations had to actually take a heavy sigh and shrugged whilst explaining their distress.

I apologized to the representative on the behalf of my TARCian and UTARians. She laughed but in the end insisted in recruiting me but i was still hoping for Genting Group and Marina Bay Sands but oh well, i gave them my number and a mock resume. Lucky thing i brought my trusty CV around lulz

I still find it sad that TARCian and UTARians have low fluency in English and made a bad impression to the career fair participants that students from these two college/uni are really bad in English. (not that i don't admit that most of them are bad in it) but hey, we still need a job too ya know



:(   sad case

Home isnt home anymore. Home to me is just another sad sad place where i will feel so fucking depressed most of the time, i dont get a time for myself to think straight, i dont get to breath properly, i dont get to make decisions on my own.

I am going to tarcollege to continue my studies in advanced diploma. God knows how useless is that piece of crap wasting two years of my life in that crappy college and wasting my time doing god knows what crap assignments that had to make us stay back, crack our heads and just work us like dogs just to get our things straight. Fuck this. The whole reason i wanna ran away from it. Eventually it turned around and bit me in the rear.

EVERY DAY without fail she would attack me mentally, psychologically and hurt me. Why must you do that mom? I am the only daughter in this household that had provided you two the pride and joy to be the first one to go overseas in your family. I never failed my studies. I never land myself into trouble and most of all i have always kept myself on curfew to come home always everynight even if i have gatherings or an outing with friends before 12am and i am never later. Not a single minute.

You want me to live up to you expectations, you want me to earn as much as your friend Tony Ho. Yeah i know he became a millionaire in just 5years at the raw age of 27. Why must you be so blinded with money that you forget what you have right here? Why must you look at currencies instead of looking at your daughter properly as a whole, as a human being and most importantly, AS A STUDENT.

You are so blinded with money that you kept talking bout how i should earn my money, how should i spend it on you, how should i take you to vacations, how should i buy a big assed house for you and how i should do everything for you.

I will become rich someday. I wish, hope and strive for it. I will become rich and give you EVERYTHING you want. The one thing that amaze me the most and that thing itself questioned myself bout you. It hit me suddenly, that all the things you wanted were so materialistic, you never actually made me PROMISE you to love you when i grow up. I finally see, how much money meant to you. How much wealth meant to you. Yes, money is important. I couldnt believe that you didnt ask me to love you in the future. Maybe i should not love you in the future seeing that you want so many materialistic things to keep you happy. Maybe i should just shower you with money every time and keep you happy with non breathing materials. 

I realized that all these are so important, that me loving you as my mom is not important at all. It just breaks my heart.

I realize now how much you dont like me but still wants me to be obedient for you. Yes, you love me. Everyone will say that they love their daughters and people will tell me that mothers always love their daughters. At least once, can this mother let her daughter breath in relief? Everything is so vague. Everything is so stuffed. I am sick and tired of this. Why must you torture me? Why must you do this to me? Am i studying and striving for a better future not good enough for you?

Am i a failure to you? am i a disappointment? Just because Eugenia rebelled doesnt mean that i would do that to you guys. You kept speculating whatever decision i do is all because of her influence. Why cant you understand that it is you who made me like that and all the decision is made by myself. I am a human being with my own brain. I make my own decisions. Just that because she made the same decision im doing right now doesnt mean that she bribed me or talked me into it. Havent you learned anything from eugenia? Us making such decisions its all because of YOU. YOU made this. YOU made this happened. You did not gave us the liberty to think and be independent like a normal human being instead you wanted us to be so fucking obedient t your high expectations but in the end you just can get enough of it. You ask for more and more and more and what do we get? Nothing... yes, i get a diploma and a good future. To top it all off, i get a hell of a mental torture from you kept saying that im a disgrace, i am the black sheep.

Just because i have a personality of my own which differs from you. I have my own personality that does not go with your ideal. I am an aggressive person and a manipulative one. I know my limits and my ability to lead and manipulate. Thats the whole reason i chose PR. In the end you said that i was an evil person. Taking law, PR and all the likes of the subject makes me an evil person and when im in the reality or the corporate world, i will turn into a dominating woman that kills and steps on every stone i can find. I take it as an advantage. But all you see is, nothing. You felt that im a stupid person. Yeah, i will be a stupid one in front of you no matter what. You do not know how manipulative i am. Yes, you are my mother and you will know what i think and whats the next move i will make. However, im sorry to say you did not see this coming.

I will go overseas. I will save up a big sum of cash. Get a leading career and prove to you that i am not a failure. At that point that you still felt that i am one, i am sorry. You are just being ridiculous.. I am just a human being that is your daughter trying to live up to all of your expectations and still trying coz even if i did lived up to your expectations, your selfishness tells you that it is not enough an you want more. That is YOU mom.

You never look up to me. You never appreciate what ive done. You take things for granted. You never acknowledge what am i and what i have. you are never pleased. You are never happy bout me. You never trust me. You never like me, You never believe in me. All you see in me is a stepping stone.

thank you for bringing me into this life and teaching me bout all the realistic people in this world, how realistic people can be, how selfish are they and thank you mom for teaching me realism. You taught me that even you as a mother, you are being really realistic to me. Not only that, you are being materialistic over me. Thank you mom. I am just your material. Your tool and your stepping stone.

Whatever i do for your to make you happy is never enough.

Thank you for showing me to not to trust anyone in this world. Not you, not him, not her, and not myself.

I will still be obedient. But i do not know till when. I will suck it up, be obedient and fullfill your loveless, tasteless and heartless tortures everyday.

Whatever makes you happy mom.

And

happy mothers day.

fml

im depressed like fuck.

I've made up my mind to go Help Uni for degree but my mom kept making me going back to Tarcollege to get advance diploma and go overseas. Don't you get it? if i go overseas, who is going to take care of dad? How are you guys gonna pay the fees? My younger sis is gonna enter college next year and at that time, you'd be paying both mine and her fees for college. Yeah, applying for PTPTN or Kojadi loan for the UK degree. What about rent? Allowance? Food? Clothing? Weather-friendly jackets? Those are money too!

dad is retired and the only one working is you mom. Eugenia (elder sis) is not doing anything for the family or giving us money to loosen your burden. Taking a local degree is just gonna make me end up in a company and only just because im gonna spend more time there and lower chance of getting a real good job. Mom, knowing me as your daughter for 21 years, don't you have confidence in me at all?

You said that you are going to respect my decision if im gonna take Help or Tarc or whatever i do after my diploma. Then what's this constant mind fuck and constant nags bout GOING OVERSEAS? You said that YOU WON"T CARE ON WHAT DECISION I WILL MAKE!

FUCK THIS!

Im so fucking depressed that i wanna cry out loud.

hell FUCK! Tania (younger sis) is gonna enroll into college soon and all im doing is to help you loosen your burden financially. All the time you said that i don't care bout money. FUCK THIS! If i don't care bout money, i won't be going into a local University at all. It is because i WANT TO GIVE MY SISTER A CHANCE TO GO THROUGH COLLEGE AND DEGREE TOO!

Im so confused and fucked up with this thing. This depression... i dont know why it made me so suicidal out of all of the sudden. It just made me gave up living... i have no idea why....

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

How did i release my stress today?

I had a pack of 150g of M&M's and two box of pocky. These few weeks has been really stressful and i hope that it would end soon. I'm so looking forward to a vacation.

College has been hectic. It is a living hell. If this is what it takes to end my diploma, i think its a matter of time until i fall into a breakdown. The stress is getting up to me and i think its going to be so bad, my life is at stake. The amount of money used for this assignment alone is scary and so scary it left me the next two weeks lunch deprived. Not only did it kill off my mood from reading for my recent mid term, i think i screwed it badly. I totally crapped on it. It was real bad. I hope my lecturer took my crap.

Despite the stress im havin. Im still happy that i have my pig haha i was so stressed out i broke down coz idiot mr chuan rejected the hard work that we went through. He just enjoys giving us trouble and torturing us. I hope that i go through this hell pretty good enough to let me finish my diploma and be done with it. The day when Mr Chuan rejected our work, i was so stressed and pissed i couldnt take it. Its the first time that stress took the better of me and i broke down as soon as i met my dear.

The very moment i parked my car and when he opened the door to let me in, he smiled at me and that very minute i cant take it anymore and i cried on the spot. I kinda scared him and he thought he made me cry or something hhaa sorry dear.. i couldn't help crying and complained to him bout shitty Mr Chuan. He hugged me and consoled me the whole time and asked me to let it all out. Im so happy >w< I know that he couldn't do anything bout my problem but at least he helped in consoling me and making me happy bout it. Im so happy to be in his arms and he kept making me laugh with his stupid face haha

i love you dear :3

i don't give a damn. I wanna get in shape and be the most hawt girl that my dear can be proud of D: looking at his friends' girlfriends make me feel so jealous. I am so going on a diet and jog like crazy to get into shape for him >:( i don't care even if my dear is overweight, i wanna be slim for him and pwn his friends' girlfriends.

I AM GOING ON A DIET FOR YOU DEAR!!! love ya :)

and to prove to everyone that the fumakilla mosquito repellent machine thingy where you put palletes in it DOES NOT WORK. This mosquito was resting and i turned it on and PUT IT NEXT TO IT and it never flies. So PROVE KAO KAO lol and yeah my machine thingy is dusty



See that spec? Thats the mosquito hahahahha

This restaurant?  My review on it? Uber HORRIBLE!
Went there today with pig pig.

*starting with lovey dovey post*
I am really really really missing him so so much. Just one week and i already miss him like hell in heck in hell of a hellish hell. <-- har? XD feels so right to see him again. I had lunch with him today so we said we wanted to try T-bowl and we went there la. I called Hikki to join shopping with me today coz my mom's W980 went haywire so i went to lowyat to fix it. So we went there first before Hikki arrived but as soon as we ordered, Hikki told me not to eat there. She was right but it was too late. I said i'd try it myself anyway.

To those who don't know, T-bowl is a restaurant/cafe that it's deco and theme is made of bathroom appliances. The seats were toilet bowls, some drinks are served in mini toilet bowls. Cheese baked dishes are served in toilet bowls and so forth. The theme is cute but... this is my review.

Pictures of the place:



- The menu


- Some of the seats in the cafe


- another view of the interior

we ordered:

DRINKS:



Mine = Mocha Blended


His = Oreo Blended

FOOD:


his = forgot but its the fried noodles section with a fried katsu



mine = BBQ chicken. Taken AFTER i payed the bill. Yes i left it after a few bite.


Drinks were 100% nice. First time i had ice blended mocha in a cafe and its really nice and used ample portions of milk in the drink. Very nice. I think dear liked his Oreo Blended too.


The food? FUCK IT. Really, FUCK IT AND BURN IT WITH FIRE AND BURY THE REMAINS! dear's so called fried noodles were spaghetti being stir fried with some sort of sauce and how it tastes like? NOTHING. NO TASTE. Take a good look at it. It has no taste. dear din go further with the katsu so i have no idea about it but he said it sucks too. The first thing we can smell from the freshly made fried spaghetti was a very strong 'wok' smell.  Oh yeah i forgot to mention that the restaurant reeks of rotten sweet smell.

Then when mine came... ugh... i had an upset stomach seriously after i had that. The BBQ chicken is like a phail chicken with phail thai-like-sauce that reeks with after taste. The fries.. have you actually tasted french fries that tastes like rotten over used frying oil and with a touch of freezer taste? YES it has a taste like a freezer. The defrosting was not enough and it tastes like smelly freezer water excrete. The chicken is rotten. Yes it smells. Not the chicken smell mind you, the smell of a bad expired chicken. OVER cooked coz the meat is falling apart. The sauce.. fail sauce with cold weird iron taste, with fine chopped chili skins and raw GARLIC. The sauce tasted like rusted pipe water and the after taste is like smelling a longkang (drain). I almost threw up. I stopped. I couldn't take it anymore. I seriously could NOT take another bite. Gasoline as a similar menu but that i can still swallow. THIS... ugh... and the manager did not bother asking why.

The staff and manager only gave me the disgusted look coz i refused to finish the food and scoffed off. The girls next to our table ordered the same fried spaghetti thingy but in seafood and they also let us know that it sucks. Then the girl noticed that i gave really bad review on my bbq chicken. Then one of her friends ordered this toilet bowl tom yam. She said it was too sour. The girl that sat next to us was friendly enough to tell me that at least the spaghetti bolognese was alright but the fried spaghetti thingy was just down right... stupid. 

I swear i will never step foot into that cafe again for its food. If you guys so happen wanna drink there, i can still go.

After that i walked with hikki and dear to send him back to work lol and me and hikki had Sushi Zanmai instead. I couldn't tahan from being guh so i complained bout the cafe's suckiness to Sushi Zanmai's manager LOL he even laughed.

Seriously.. it was a horrific experience. I know the cafe has a toilet themed cafe but it makes me wonder. The food also made from toilet arh?

End of my review.

After that we walked around and my mom's phone was fixed for RM30. Its been a long time since the both of us went shopping and walked around aimlessly haha. Gossiped around and made abit of window shopping We bought some pins and stuff. Then i bought two pairs of sandals for RM10 a pair. It was nice :D my mom wanted me to buy a pair for myself and my sister so i chose these sandals from this RM10 shop and it was really nice and the rubber under it most importantly is 'skid proof'. Then hikki went home after that. Thank you hikki for teman-ing me today :) Hope her health stays good always. After she went home i went to find Eric at 7th floor and hang around to chat until my mom is ready to leave. Yeah, i know im splurging but at least its for my parents. I heard my mom is being really tired lately and my dad went to the doctor's yesterday and the doctor said he is exhausted and his blood pressure is unstable. So i spent my money and bought a box of Brands Chicken Essence for them. My mom saw the pair of sandals and kept complaining bout the one she bought while walking towards times square coz it costed her RM30 and it was ugly. But at least it was soft la lol yes it is indeed ugly lol

so that pretty sums up for today.

I enjoy meeting dear :D i am in dire need of his warmth and hugs. I cant stop thinking of him these days. >.< love you so so much lao gong. Despite everyone watching in the middle of low yat, i cant help from hugging him. I really love ya dearr

It was daddy's birthday yesterday :D daddy's 52nd birthday haha. we took him to Chuai Heng Restaurant near Jalan Bukit Bintang. We been there once for our cousin's first wedding. Yeah, she remarried lol its a nice place but the sets were not that good. Only one thing is good there, which is the 'Phun Choi' which directly translated, Pot dish. Where you have random things dumped into a pot and broiled with special abalone sauce and soup base. IT WAS DELISH! Of course you can choose what to put in. I wanted some straw mushrooms but nah.. dun wanna ruin the pot lol

our pot contains Sea Cucumber, African Abalones, uh... scallops and loads of other seafood stuff. The sauce is delish! I WANT MOAR of them sauce. Too bad its only one pot per serving of them sauce T_T coz its served in a clay pot and a fire stove under it to keep it warm. The problem is, it will go dry since the sauce is thick.



the place is not that classy la. Still affordable.... i think. Its above affordable lol the waitress and waitresses are all from China. Hard to communicate la wei = =  of coz... all my other sisters were pigs. Never had the initiative to serve my dad the first serving. I had to stand up and serve him with my sleeves rolled up like an auntie.

Then of course... guess how much this pot of dish is. we had some yee sang for half a table. It was RM48 for the Yee Sang. Imagine how much does this pot dish costs :D



Actually, i didnt get any abalone since we ordered only for three person's servings and it was ngam ngam only la. The scallop is mine and the abalone is actually my mom's haha i pinjam-ed it to take a picture of it. Its SO CUTE! Mini african abalones. The big ones costs around RM400. Slightly as big as your palm i think.



And time for some ENGALAND! Your Engrissu is farnee. Its not sold out. Its out of order XD

a few days ago we went to Gardens out of random. Yeah, my family went all random again. We went to pasar together. I wore like a pasar budak, then we went to leisure mall for lunch. Out of the sudden, my dad wants to go Midvalley. I went to Midvalley like a pasar budak WTF and i bumped into a college peep WTF XD

domo kun life size anyone? I WANT THIS!

Im spoilt. Yet i want to be spoilt and feeling that i don't want to at the same time. Has been kicking reality into our relationship lately. we are planning on how to get a steady income so that out lives will be better in the future. Hopefully it will be better in the future coz yeah, natural instincts will kick in. Money is important D: at least to maintain a good life for the rest of our future. Yeah, im planning things too early now.

Today's exam was awesome. Quite a light one comparing to the other three papers i had earlier for this semester. So i guess i was lucky for covering the parts where i had a hunch that it would come out lol and it did.

SO, after exam i went to dear's place and hang out a little and decided on where to go after that. At first we planned to go Times Square but im so sick of that place already D: so we went to sunway pyramid instead coz i made him feel tempted with Pasta De Gohan. Our bill was around RM80 ftw. We had Carbonara Wafuku style, my favourite, Hambagu Steak Pasta and OREO PARFAIT!!!!! MEEPS ME LIKEY!


::: TADAAAA~~~ yeah.. its hell of an expensive place for pasta D:   ::::


::: I LOVE MY HAMBAGUUU!!! :::

Yes i have no idea why am i so addicted to hambagu. First it was ikura and then hambagu. I've been craving for hambagu ever since CF and i had it at Pasta Zanmai but this time, when i had this at Pasta de Gohan, i cant stop going EEEEEEE!!! In love sial! So i made dear try some. At first he hesitated. Then as more and more i fed, the more he wants. I officially made him fell in love with hambagu too XD YAY! We can has hambagu festival :D

After the meal, i thought maybe its enough since predicting the bill, it will be scary as heck. But dear went ahead and ordered a parfait anyway. YESH! I love parfaits. We ordered an Oreo Parfait and it was AWESOME SAUCE! I don't like bananas so i made him ate the banana himself lol



::: NICE? XD:::

so after lunch we walked around the whole day around Sunway to find some bikini but sigh... sunway so out of stock mehhhhhh. No i don't want those swimming types with fancy fancy styles. Im trying to look for something simple but they don't gotz eet. Even if i found a cotton one cibai they selling it for RM49 and above. SIAO ARH?

Then we went to the arcades and played for a little while. We went crazy on the mario kart. thanks to derek who influenced me into playing it. Im kinda influencing dear to play it too lolz. So after that we watched Tooth Fairy. The movie was AWSM! Sarcasm! ME LIKES! I like it when they make the sarcasm rawk. Especially Dwayne Johnson Versus the fairy trainer; Jerry. The old freak is cute! For dinner we went to eat at pepper lunch. Yep, im making dear eat things that he usually don't. Yeah, money flies but hey, watever it is, money used on food is a blessing and its way much more better than shopping for useless things now isnt it.

Let the videos do the talking :D

Dear's hambagu set hahahha i ish influencing him with HAMBAGUUUU



Then its my beef pepper rice :D never get tired of this!




after dinner, we walked around again and i bought two hypacratus something something from the flower convention from china on the concourse at the new wing. The fragrance from the flowers were AMAZING! Now i put one in my dad's study room and the whole room smells like that flower. OMG! I LOVE IT!

I miss my dear so much now D: if only i could hug him again.

you have no idea how much i hate that woman now. More and more of her idiotic stupid frantic is driving me up the wall.

First, she wants to take away my car. Fine, i have my own two feet, i can walk.
Then she said i hang out outside too much, when i didnt, i stayed at home playing left4dead the whole time and guess what she said? Don't you have any friends?

If i didnt date a guy she would say oh i don't mind you choosing anyone as long that guy can support you and he is a good guy even if he is a poor man. When i did she would say; 'I DIDNT PAY YOU FOR COLLEGE JUST FOR YOU TO CHOOSE A GUY THAT IS POOR'

If i went out alot she would say; why are you going out so much, you are spoilt. When i stayed at home; you play too much computer games and skip classes. You are a disgrace.

= =

seriously,

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I HATE YOU AND YOUR BLOODY FUCKING MOUTH AND I WISHED THAT YOU'D SHUT UP WHEN I WANT TOU TO SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF MY LIFE. YEAH IM STILL LIVING UNDER YOUR ROOF AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANNA GET MY DEGREE AND GET A GOOD JOB WITH A GOOD PAY AND MOVE OUT AND JUST STUFF MONEY INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND BE DONE WITH YOU

call me a bad daughter but enough is enough. I cant take these mental tortures anymore! Yeah, i know my elder sis is in no way in her whole miserable life in supporting the whole family. I WILL support the family but i will NOT LIVE WITH YOU.